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His heart beat race as he turn the corner and opened the door. Early in the day Jacob was dared by his friends to enter the supposal haunted house. ”but he won’t do it, he's too much of a chicken to do it” one said. “Yeah, he probably going cry and wet his shorts.” “I am not!” he yelled back. “Then prove it!” “I will!”
As soon as he opened the door and step in, he was blinded by light only momentary, when he was in shock and disbelief, a giant elegant room filled to the brim with happy, smiling masked people. They were simply dancing around in circles. After stepping out in to the room, everyone stop and stared at him. Shifting uncomfortably and moving his glace down to his muddy shoes and tattered clothes, when a finely dress Gentleman wearing a lion’s mask approached from his left side. “Sir Jacob, we’ve been waiting for you.” His head shot up once he full comprehended the words spoken to him. “What? I don’t know what you mean?” “Of course you do Sir Jacob” winked the Gentleman. “Just look at your clothes…”
Jacobs glaze in his clothes in amazement. Gone were his old, ugly clothes. In their place was a black silk shirt with gold and red thread and gold buttons. His pants were now decorated in black, gold, and red intertwining threads that when down the side of his all silk black pants. His hair was now clean and smooth back from its usual messy and shaggy style. And finally his black shoes where spotless and shone like a full moon on a clear night. Looking up confused at the Gentleman he merely smiles and took his hand and placed a black mask with gold feathers that had blood red tips. “I don’t understand…
What’s going on?"
Where did these clothes come from?” ask a scared Jacob “I’m afraid I can’t tell you that now, but don’t worry you will soon get your answers” the gentlemen said placing a kiss on Jacobs cheek. Startled Jacob took a step back and bumps into beautifully dress lady wearing a butterfly mask over her face. He turned quickly and apologized. All she did was giggle and walked off. “See Jacob, you’re the star here. You the only one who can release us from our hell” he said placing a hand on Jacob’s shoulder. Jacob slowly turned around and faces the Gentlemen dead on. “What do I need to free you?” “All you need to do is to say is by the power of both the gods and the devil I release all these poor souls trapped by the elements into eternal bliss and happiness." Jacob blinked “That’s all?” “Yes Sir Jacob.”
Jacob stepped into the middle of the room and said as loud as he could, the words that set the trapped spirits free and dancing into the midnight hour. After saying then the light dimmed and soon the entire room was pitch black. Jacob stumbled to the nearest door and step out into an ally. As he walked away, still dressed in his new clothes, he passed two ladies walking their dogs. “Do you know about that house?”Said one of the ladies ‘that one?” “Yeah” “back in the 18 century that house was having a masquerade, when fire erupted, it trapped them all in there, burning them all to death.” “That really sad, did they know who did it?” “Yup some person named Sir Jacob Van Brook” " I hope that guy got what he disserve" "me too
At that point, Jacob stop, turned, and stared at the two ladies walking off. Off In the distant he hears the familiarly voice of the Gentleman, “thank you Sir Jacob, for finishing what you have started….”
Scared out of his wits, Jacob ran all the way home, leaving behind the elegant mask and the house that started it all.
- by Arkhangel Hamatiel Zuriel |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/24/2008 |
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- Title: The Masquerade
- Artist: Arkhangel Hamatiel Zuriel
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Description:
a young man dared by his friends enters a haunted house and leaves with more than he needed.
its a short story, not ment to be scary or anything - Date: 07/24/2008
- Tags: haunted house masquerade masked
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Arkhangel Hamatiel Zuriel - 10/04/2008
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lol hai this is the writer's friend ^^
hmm the writer says that she recognizes that her grammar must be worked on. biggrin ja this is very unedited its kind of a draft so the paragraph-ing will probably get done later..when i feel like it. MUAHAHAHAHA
i think ur right about jacob's speech. we shall work on it biggrin
ja so remember before you get all angsty and crap this isnt the author. its her hyperactive friend. ^_^ - Report As Spam
- Commander Oblivious - 08/12/2008
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First off, you need to work on proper capitalization; you capitalize the first letter in dialogue. Second, each different speaker gets their own paragraph; always remember this.
The words Jacob needs to say is a bit cliche, for lack of better word- try making something simple, something catchy, that people will remember and come back to.
Interesting ending, though; the hint of reincarnation was a surprise.
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