• V2
    It was morning, a cloudless sun smiling Monday. Whether or not the day was beautiful it did not stop us from doing our regular scheduled tasks. Monday’s meant I had to go work at 8 in the morning at Big Joe’s, the local supermarket. Monday’s also meant dropping off Betzie at the daycare run by Ms. Dean. Round Valley was a usually quiet city and most of it’s inhabitants were a peaceful sort.

    At age 22 I had run away from my home with Betzie at my side. I was scared, too scared to remember much. All I knew was that I had to get away from mexico where John lived. I walked and walked and walked and finally crossed the border. Not only did I leave John behind but, I left my father and mother. I never told them about how john treated me. All they knew was that he was a nice young man who wanted me to live with him and our daughter. I left them without a goodbye or an explanation. Even now I have no idea what happened to them.

    Now that I think about it, it should have been impossible crossing the border, the only reason I escaped was because of God. I prayed that he would allow us to escape him. Every night I made time to pray, if I could not help betzie then he could. I remember being so tired from walking and I especially remember Betzie’s cries of hunger. Her hunger was so deep, mine was nothing compared to hers. Hunger lurked in her bones and the lack of sleep was a tattoo on her face. And still at times, she smiled to reassure me, telling me in her unsaid words, even this was better than having to see me in pain. I wished for it to end, I couldn’t bare to see Betzie like that.

    And it did end, thanks to the group of immigrants who helped the beginning of my escape. They were kind, and understood that there was more to my story. All they simply had to do was look at Betzie. They offered me some money in order to find an apartment. They asked for nothing in return, but I promised them I would find a way to repay them. Aside from money, they informed me about where I was going, the towns nearby, apartments available for rent, jobs. So much information. They were clearly prepared. With their help and god's i miraculously arrived in California and found Round Valley. I was home at last.

    The first couple days that I began working in Round Valley I had taken Betzie to work. Too worried about how Betzie was doing whether she was feeling hungry or sleepy, I did a poor job at working the cash register at Joe’s. Aside from that, Betzie would get scared sometimes, she wasn’t used to so many people. It was going to happen at some point, her little world of me and daddy grew to the whole city of Round Valley. And because of daddy, she grew to be more scared than the normal 6 year old. When we moved to Round Valley she was barely four and half and most of the words she said were made up ones. Words were not needed to understand her fear. She wasn’t scared of the female customers as long as they didn’t take her yellow blanket. Her yellow blanket was her best friend, a bit dirty, but lovable to her. She wasn’t scared of all male customers either. I didn’t think she feared anyone, since she greeted everyone with a smile and a shy hello. Perhaps she was always scared, something she kept inside, thoughts that confused her. I never once thought she would do it ,but she did.

    It was a normal day at work, many things to do, and a variety of customers. “That will be 20 dollars and 49 cents.” I told the young college girl in front of me. A long line stood behind her, tapping their toes in impatience. Neatly stacked piles of boxes and fruits, squeaky carts, Gossiping magazines. The sounds filled the store, of beeps, whispers, chatter, carts, and the shuffling of feet. It was just another ordinary day at work, with a bit more people than usual. She handed me the money and I almost dropped it when the exchange was broken by an ear splitting scream. A young man of about 26 was holding out his hand to a screaming little girl. Oh my… That wasn’t a little girl, it was my little girl. Betzie was on her knees screaming, grabbing her ears with her hands, and tears running down her cheeks. What did he do… Betzie! The young man turned around and it almost brought me to my knees like Betzie. “Get away from her!!” I yelled running to Betzie, knocking him out of the way. I turned too quickly to face the young man and stumbled.

    I don’t remember much after that. My co-workers later told me that I lost it. I mistook the young man’s kind gesture of helping me up as something else. They told me that I hit him hard on the nose, and blood trickled from his nostrils. As a result from the punch he stumbled a bit, and then tripped on something, which somehow made him fall where I was. Which made no sense to me whatsoever. I fell down hard, hitting my head on a shelf and then the hard ground. I knocked out cold leaving a little girl in hysterics.

    I guess the thing that I most remember is that young man. He looked like him, he looked like John. I had to save Betzie from him ,but inside I also wanted to be saved. I could hardly breathe, I was going into hysterics like Betzie. And that was just after noticing him. My instincts took over me, I wasn’t going to let him hurt us again. And now? I realized that the young man didn’t really look like John. From a distance away you could of mistaken him for a relative of John. I messed up bad, and Betzie paid for it.

    Betzie never really mentioned the accident but, when I awoke she needed me. She couldn’t stop shaking and I couldn’t stop crying either. The young man disappeared bloody nose and all. I can’t help thinking whether I should have tried apologizing. Deep inside, I knew I was just as scared of this look alike as the real thing. Or worse because this look alike was nearby while john was miles away.

    After the accident Mr. Bedent the manager of Big Joe’s had a very long conversation with me. His message was crystal clear, either take Betzie somewhere else or get fired. There were no other jobs available, I triple checked. No one would hire an immigrant with little experience and no papers. With little choice I found the daycare run by Ms.Dean, a sweet old lady who loves kids. “Mommy are you ready?” Betzie came into our bedroom, hair tangle free, ready to go with her Elmo backpack. In a normal single motherhood, the mother would be asking the daughter whether she was ready or not. In this case, things were upside down. Betzie was all energy, a little super charged bunny, and I was the person in the energizer commercial looking for the batteries. She understood that I was cautious and wary, it only made her want to move faster. To add, I didn’t have that much sleep last night either. I went to sleep only to be trapped in my nightmare again, there was no escaping it. Betzie didn’t know I still got nightmares because of him. I was scared that he would find me and Betzie, I hated him for that. To make matters worse not only me but, Betzie had nightmares. She would wake up crying telling me of the bad man that hurt us. Betzie knew him as the bad man, the little pieces of those memories were not enough to remind her of his real name, John Dagner.

    “Almost Betzie, I need to put on my uniform and you still have to eat breakfast”. I was still in the boxer shorts and t-shirt I usually wore to sleep. “Emy have choo eaten?” I laughed inside. She had spoken like a true Grandmother.“Don’t worry about me, come on big girl time to chow down” I picked her up and carried her making sound effects that resembled a car. A very noisy car. “WEEEEEE! Down down down!” she yelled waving her arms around. As soon as her feet touched the ground she made a run for it. She giggled and ran faster than the noisy car had taken her to the kitchen.

    “Oy!” I hit myself on the head, we were going to be late, I still hadn’t even changed into my uniform. “You can’t catch me im dah chinger bread man!” she sticked out her tounge and hid behind the small piece of wood we called the kitchen table. “Hey silly, it’s the gingerbread man, and your not a man you’re a young lady who needs to eat her breakfast. “ “I ish the chingerbread man not a young leady!” she meowed behind the table. “Fine but, men don’t meow. They go like this… HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS!” I rubbed my tummy and acted like Santa Claus. She giggled and ran to me, “Silly Mommy!”. She planted a wet one on my cheek, “ and now you’re a doggy eh?”. “ No mommy I’m Betzie!”. Picking her up I sat her down on a chair and preceded to the kitchen looking for breakfast. Another Monday, another typical morning with Betzie. My little Betzie.