• In this entity, this universe, I would never be accepted by the world. There's no beautiful story in my life; the one of a girl that is accepted in the end by the world just because she marries a beautiful guy and becomes gorgeous herself. It may not be true in any life. I highly doubt it, anyway. That sort of story is just to get the little girls from the better families to grow up and become working mothers who foster their children in that manner. It made me want to laugh, it was so ridiculous. It made me want to laugh so hard, by body cracked and came into pieces; and rot to the core. "All teenagers are like this, thay are all stupid and self-loathing. You can't blame yourself for the way your little b***h of a daughter has turned out, Mary." Those were the exact words that my grandmother had used when speaking to my mother when she had been openly taunting me in front of my 'beautiful' family. I knew that I was expected to love her, but I still to this day have problems with it. She makes me feel so small, that just thinking of her face makes me ashamed, and I start bawling. "I guess I am pretty pitiful," I said, laughing to myself. They all took turns at this sort of thing at Thanksgiving, nine years ago. This was the day that I had happily realized the position that I had been put in. As they tossed their dripping grease-bones at me on that day, I smiled to myself. 'This is the cross that I am going to have to bear. It is the way things are. What will be, will be; and there is no possible way to change your fate.'There may be a god in the sky, and this is how he positioned us. I have no problem with this arrangement, if indeed he is there and has done that. For in doing so, he has made me ready to serve the world by letting them do as they will... to me... as an outlet, or that sort of thing.