• Dear Alex,


    I guess it is like you said: All fairy tales must come to an end. (Though,
    you only said that because it was 1 AM and we were still watching Sleeping
    Beauty.)


    Do you remember that time we met? I was at a party that Sonya convinced me
    to go to, and you had just been broken up with by the so called 'ex-love of
    your life'. I was just at the right place, at the right time. I was just
    the rebound. Then I became the best friend, then the lover.


    And I was so happy. Why wouldn't I be? Every thing was perfect. How I fit
    into your arms, how you kissed me, and reassured me. How you protected me
    from my fears, from myself.


    Do you remember that day? The day I asked if you loved me? You had smiled
    and taken me into your strong arms. Did you ever intend to answer me? Ha, I
    guess this is the answer you had hidden from me. No. It hadn't been hidden.
    Just secretly tucked away, and I had been to naive to notice. It was all a
    lie.


    I bet your thinking: No, Annie, I was not lying to you, it was all true.



    Well I don't care. Part of me really wanted me to understand and believe
    you. Yet, the other part of me understood your feelings.


    Your perfect, just like I've always said.


    And I'm not.


    I remember the day I found out about what you were intending to do. It was
    my birthday, 4 months after we started dating. And, for some reason, you
    invited her to my party. I had asked you why you did it, and you had
    laughed, pecking me on the forehead and telling me she was just a friend.



    Friends with benefits, that is.


    You were just drunk, and I knew that when drunk, you tend to do stupid
    things. I had walked in on you, saw her straddling you, like you were hers
    again, not mine. How was I supposed to feel about that?


    Angry, certainly. Betrayed. Regret, and, for some stupid reason, I also
    felt confused.


    Every thing you did up until this moment had flashed before my eyes, making
    me realize that she was never really a 'ex'. All the accidental slip up you
    had made since. Even the time you called me by her name.


    You apologized, embracing me, and finally using the 'L' word.


    My legs must have been weak that night, because I fell for it.


    Did you know that after trust is lost, you can not gain it back easily? If
    not, you learned the hard way.


    From then on, I knew you were sneaking around with the 'ex-love of you
    life', the girl I was used as the Rebound for.


    When you embraced me, I knew it wasn't me you wanted to embrace. When you
    were staring absently out the window, I knew it wasn't me you fantasizing
    about. When I said I love you, I knew it wasn't me you wanted to hear that
    from.


    But yet, I was to scared to let you go.


    So you let me go.


    Do you remember that day as well as I do?


    We were at the park, feeding the ducks when you told me. When you said you
    didn't love me. I bit my lip, nodding and holding back my tears. I had let
    you hug me one final time, and I did not turn around to watch you go.

    />

    All I could think about was how I was no longer Cinderella, and you were
    some other girls Prince Charming. I was back to being plain old Annie.

    />

    Do you remember what happened next?


    I didn't realize what was going on until the screaming started. Until the
    cars on the road started screeching and honking. I had turned around just
    in time to see it unfold before my eyes. Just in time to see you walking a
    crossed the street towards the 're-love of your life', who had been waiting
    in the book shop for you to join her. I may be naive, but I'm not blind.



    Of course you don't remember what happened after words. You cant, because
    the next moment you were killed by a drunk driver.


    Even after you broke my heart for a girl who had cheated on you with your
    old best friend, you did not deserve this to happen to you. You deserved
    the baby's and the little picket fence that you had always wished every
    night for.


    I would have given it to you. I would have given anything to you, if you
    had just turned around, and came back to me.


    But you didn't.


    Because you couldn't.


    If I would have begged, pleaded, if I would have done something, you would
    not be six feet under.


    I'm sorry, Alex. I could not give you what you wanted. I could not make you
    love me, I could not have let go earlier. If I had, this wouldn't have
    happened.


    This is me saying my final goodbyes, Alex. This is me letting go. I'm going
    to have my own picket fence one day soon. I wish you would have known that
    the picket fence was never going to happen with you and that girl. The week
    after you died I saw her at the store, a new man slung around her waist.
    You deserved better, Alex.


    This is good bye for the last time, Alex. Not a see ya later, like you were
    so fond of.


    Sincerely,


    Annie.