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Darkness swirled around her in an unnatural burst of power. She dropped to her knees as the great display of Azhar, the dark magic of vampires, unleashed its full force, draining her strength. Azhar conformed to every nook of her body, clinging to her skin like rain to a rose petal; she clawed at her face, and arms, attempting to strip the unnatural force from her body, but to no avail. The magic only sank deeper into her skin until had had fused itself to her veins and arteries, flowing through her body with all the resistance of her own blood. Everything it touched turned black, hardening, and strengthening her body. Her breath came in a wild gasp as her lungs slowly hardened until they could not longer move; she felt every painful beat of her hart as it struggled against the unstoppable force of Azhar. It took only a matter of minutes for the deed to be done, the same amount of time it took her blood to fully circulate.
She lay there, gasping in the darkness of night, wishing for the ache in her body to recede... for what she knew naught, she knew naught of what had caused her transformation, nor did she understand what had happened to her.
After several moments she was able to stand. She tried to inhale out of pure habit; however, she found that it was not possible. This struck fear into her heart; however, she found that the lack of oxygen did not harm her, as it would have previously. She put a shaky hand to her chest, wishing to feel for the beat of her heart, after several minutes of searching she found that she could find no traced of it. Her eyes widened greatly, as she came to the only realization she could come to: she was no longer human. No human could possible survive the lack of oxygen, nor could a human sustain life without their heart to propel their blood through their system. Another realization came to her slowly as she stood there: she had no sense of touch, she could feel nothing. She did not feel the breeze that assaulted the small clearing she stood in, she did not feel the ground beneath her bare feet, and she was completely unaware of her body through the sensation of touch. It was as if her nerve endings had all been killed, unable to receive the receptions necessary to feel the world around her. With frightened curiosity, she dug her naturally long, now black, fingernails and raked them across her arm, her skin gave way beneath her claws, however, she did not feel the pain that should have accompanied the action. It was an odd sensation. It was like putting a glove on, and being able to feel the object beneath your hand, but not the effect of it on your skin.
She stood there for several moments fear gripping her like frost bite to frozen limbs in the dead of winter. Slowly, she sank to her knees, a pain growing in her that was not physical… a pain that avoided the skin, instead coming from deep within her. What of her family? Her friends? Surely she could not show herself to them now, not the way she was, but how could she bare life without the ones she loved? She felt the coldness of eternity alone, the loneliness that came from having everything you know and love stripped from you. She longed to cry, to feel the cleansing that only hot, salty tears could bring, but she found that reaction beyond her as well. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing for the warmth of her bed, the comfort of her mother’s arms, the familiarity of her best friend’s soft voice comforting her, but most of all she longed for Christopher, the one person in the world she loved most, to wrap his arms around her, and tell her how everything would work out just fine, just fine.
A voice in the darkness startled her out of her misery.
“Azaden, my child, there is no need to agonize, what is done is done. You cannot change it, no matter how much you might wish to.” Her eyes rose slowly to look in the face of the voice. He was startlingly beautiful. His skin was black, not the natural brown of African-Americans, but the unnatural coal black that only Azhar could cause. His eyes were a shocking shade of blue, electric blue. He was tall, easily six five, and well muscled. Anger took a hold of her as she looked at him. What right did he have to do this to her?!
She stood, becoming rigid with the fury that consumed her. She could feel the power of Azhar rising up, like a serpent preparing to strike. Without realizing her intentions, she thrust her palms towards the stranger and a black gust of power shot from her palms, throwing him against a near by tree. Before he had even realized what happened, she was there, grasping his throat with her long fingers, pressing his spine into the unmoving bark of the tree.
“You can’t kill me.” His voice was mocking, hiding his sudden fear of her.
“Watch me.” Her voice was barely more than a growl, and then she was whirling, tossing him into another tree, the sickening crack of his neck snapping disturbed the stillness of the clearing. She was in front of him almost instantly. She put her palms on either side of his head, lifting him. His eyes had grown wide with fear as he sensed the unusually high levels of Azhar that moved at her will. She leaned forward, pressing her onyx lips to his, sucking the Azhar right out of him, along with his life. He fell to the ground, a lifeless shell.
A shriek tore from her lips as her body rejected the overwhelming surge of power. For several moments the two forces; his and her own, battled for space before melding together, giving her strength she had never dreamed of. Her senses were amplified; she could here the whisper of wings as a moth hovered near by, the high sonar of a bat tickled her ears, the individual smell of every type of tree in the forest surrounded her like a warm blanket. She could taste the precipitation in the air, the sweet powder of nectar carried on the wind. She could count the individual hairs on a leaf fifteen feet in front of her. It was incredible. She had never felt like this before, never been without pain. Finally, she was free.
- by THEinsanityOFlife |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/31/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: Darkness Pain
- Artist: THEinsanityOFlife
- Description: This is just something I had in my writing folder. I submitted it for a contest in my guild (The All-Out Writers), and I was curious to see what the rest of gaia would think. Comments are lovely. If you take the time to rate it, please tell me what you honestly think. Brutality is perferable over niceness. ^^ Thanks!
- Date: 08/31/2009
- Tags: darkness pain
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Comments (7 Comments)
- gamergirl25 - 09/27/2009
- its very interesting... if you continuing it.. it has the potential to be a very awesome story!!
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- THEinsanityOFlife - 09/06/2009
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I would like to appologize for the terrible spellng and grammar. I know I should have checked it, and norally I do. This particular story I wrote several years ago... I only skimmed it before posting it. I'm very sorry guys. This having been said, could you please stop mentioning the bad spelling and grammar. Thank you.
--Angel-- - Report As Spam
- Crunchy Muggy - 09/06/2009
- Yes, spell check and grammar is always a must when "publishing" -- even in a forum. I like the descriptions and there is a certain fluidity and certainly intelligence to your writing. I'm not quite sure the piece stands alone, without some knowledge of a back story: character history and motivation, maybe some more descriptives regarding the setting, but it's clear you've got an above average talent. Definitely keep writing... the more you do, the better you get!
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- THEinsanityOFlife - 09/03/2009
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Thank you soo much for posting your lovely comments!!! Also, those of you who rate without commenting, could you please, please leave a comment and tell me what needs fixing?? I would really appreciate it.
--Angel-- - Report As Spam
- Kosuke myra - 09/01/2009
- amazing well put together. A few lines seemed a little misplaced but it was very entertaining. If it wasn't for the description of the vampire, I would have thought it would have been another race
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- jadegalixia - 08/31/2009
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I did it wrong! I wanted to give it 3 stars, but I didn't realize that I wasn't supposed to click all 3 of them! Gah!
1. You have a very good start here.
2. I question the whole Vampire angle. This sounds more like Drow, dark elves that live in the underworlds. Read " War of the Spider Queen"and you will see a strong resemblance.
3. Before you post next time edit for punctuation. You have some run on sentences here. - Report As Spam
- plushievamp - 08/31/2009
- one of your better works of fiction. i'm so proud. *sniffle* lol. jk. nice descriptions, but there are a few lines that are a little awkwardly worded/ may need a little revision in my opinion. i'll give you more details later/ in a pm. overall though, it has potential to be an interesting vampire story if you continue it. ^^
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