My heart beats for u

• Artist: Voidling
• Description: the first time ive seen you. youve tooken the key to my heart and locked it up.
  
  if you can guess what this story is about ill give a 500 gold :o
• Date: 01/22/2011
• Tags: myheart mygirl herjudgement

The first time ive seen you. you've tooken the key to my heart and locked it up. Im yours now. and i cant help to think about you. everything reminds me of your pretty face. we have gone further than i kiss. And its made me feel awfull because you have somone elses heart to portect. but hes not aware of. This. and u say its ok but my soul say i cant. i just....cant but it feels right. and im so confuesd. but yet i feel alright....with you

Comments

[vykavolt]

The romantic mood you tried to set with this piece felt a bit akward because of how many typos and gramatical errors there are in the text. I feel like this text could be very beautifull if you attempted to make it into a short poem instead.

[Your Letdown]

Btw check out ma enteries! Its called Roses and Thorns :3!!

[Your Letdown]

The story is about the one you love forever and ever, chur bf :3!!

[junebug217]

That's really awesome!!

[Voidling]

Thanks for the tip. ^^

[Kumajirou-Canada]

Also, I'd understand if you did capitalize and 'stuff' your poem thingy. I would feel awkward if my guy tried to make it too perfect >.<

[Kumajirou-Canada]

Try to include apostraphies and capitalization. (Tooken... It's "Taken" wink Not like you care... Just helping out ^^ It should also be in poetry.

Just some heads up. It was really cute ^^