• "Alicia! Come help me dry the dishes!" I was use to it by now. It wasn't a chore any more, well at least it didn't feel lyke it. I typed "BBL" in all caps on my away message in vSide and ran upstairs to help my step-mom. I usually sang while I worked or listened to music but if there was some one there I talked to them. Miss Trish must not have been in the mood for a conversation so I didn't offer one. The window was wet from the pouring rain outside. I loved the sound of rain and I didn't stop to think about what I was doing.

    I put the dishes away in the places where they belonged and then I came across a knife. There was nothing special about it... It was just a knife. But as I held it in my hand I felt a sudden rush of sorrow come over me. The lights began to fade away and the running water was a hushed sound. All that mattered was the blade in my hand. The wells of my eyes began to fill with tears. My eyes locked on the knife. I remembered everything that ever bothered me, every problem I ever had. My fingers wound tightly around the blade and before I knew it there was blood. Every where. Blood. I relaxed and not knowing what else to do I turned to Miss Trish. "Oh Lord, Baby, How ya do that!" She put my hand under the running water. I still held the knife in my uncut hand, looking at it lyke it had attacked my other hand, as if I were a stranger in my own body.

    I couldn't make sense of what I had just done. I was just fine a minute ago (and had been fine) and now I was back to cutting myself. I starred blankly as the last of the blood swirled down the drain. I covered my arm in Band Aids and let the pain seep in. It was a familiar numb feeling and for some reason I thought of Aiden (Candy's 'stage name')... So I picked up the phone and called her...