• 5/14/2012

    Llama Drama

    Cast;
    Sebastian-19 year old, handsome Egyptian boy with short black hair and gray eyes, eccentric, dressed in a prince’s attire, complete with sword and cape, childhood friends with Carina
    Carina-18 year old ½ Mexican ½ British girl with long, black hair styled into perfect sausage curls, wearing a princess dress and other accessories, has a silver bracelet inlet with amethyst that is a family heirloom, quirky, obsessed with food
    Oscar- Pedro’s caretaker and owner of the Wax Werks booth, burly and balding with plentiful arm hair, has a red beard and elf ears
    Pedro- white llama that is skittish and loves to eat everything, spits at children and has a black, bedazzled collar but no leash.

    [Setting; Renaissance fair at 5 in the afternoon. The sun is unrelenting and not a cloud is in sight. In line at the Wax Werks booth; a log cabinesque store with a brilliantly colorful sign above the arching door, Carina and Sebastian are waiting to get their hands dipped in wax. A storm last weekend knocked some trees down and damaged a few shops around the fair; rendering them unusable. Two said shops happened to be decrepit buildings flanking the wax booth. These victims of the storm seemed to angle away from Wax Werks.]

    [Stage directions; Carina takes a bit of her pastry as she stands in line. Sebastian watches Carina intently. ]

    Sebastian: I’m so glad you came today, I was afraid you might not because of that wicked storm. This is going to be so much fun. My only other option was my sister.

    Carina: Haha, she might have made you go insane with all the money she would "borrow."

    Sebastian: It’s not necessarily the money that would have made me go crazy. It’s all the girly dresses and lets go ride the ponies that’d kill me. She doesn’t like to go to the cool places that I like. If it were up to her we would be in the princess store until midnight.

    Carina: Well then I am glad that we picked out my dress first. Now we get to go try all the different types of food! This tart is so good; I just want to eat until I explode.

    Sebastian: We can’t have you exploding before we see the fire eating act. Besides it seems this line never ends, we’ll be here forever. Why is the wax hand line longer than the fairy wand and turkey leg lines combined?!

    Carina: What is your plan for this anyways? I’d rather be in the line for turkey legs.

    Sebastian: Well I was wondering if you wanted to do one together? Or should we do separate ones? We can get food after this.

    Carina: I’m just so hungry and I don’t know, this was your idea, remember. Uh, we could do Spock hands, or peace signs.

    Sebastian: Or should we do a pinky promise? Like when we were kids.

    Carina: Oh my god I can’t believe you remember that. Horse riding camp, all the mischief we’d make then swear not to rat on each other and stick together forever by pinky promising. Haha. I’m all for it, and look it’s our turn after that girl. Wait a minute, Becky? Is that you?

    [Stage directions; Carina is too busy talking to Becky that she doesn’t dip her hand in the non-stick solution before Sebastian and her link pinkies. They make it to the end where they meet the owner and his peculiar friend who loves to eat everything. Enter Pedro and Oscar.]

    Carina: Ouch! That llama ate my tart right out of my hand. [Pause] And he ate my bracelet!!!

    Sebastian: No! That thing means more to you than your car! Sir, is there any way you can get that llama to spit it up?

    Oscar: Pedro? Shoot, that llama won’t listen to anything or anyone, ‘cept for loud noises. It’s hard for him when they do the fireworks and all.

    Carina: I don’t care that he’s a scaredy llama, make him spit it out now!! That thing costs more than him and your shop! Not only in money, but also in sentimental value; it’s a family heirloom that cannot be replaced.

    Pedro: Mrraaaa.

    Oscar: Calm down Pedro. Missy, the only way you are going to get that jewelry back is if you pay me to take him around the fair with you and wait for nature to do its duty. [Snort]

    Carina: You mean rent him? How much will that cost?

    Oscar: Well, normally it’s a $50 hourly charge, but seeing as he eat your jewelry I’ll make a bargain of, oh say, $25 an hour and I’ll even give you $10 back when you return him. And I’ll need $50 now as down payment, but if you buy him a leash I’ll give that money back, too.

    Carina: Fine, but I need to get this wax off my hand so I can grab my money.

    Sebastian: All you have to do is slide your hand through! Look, I already got mine out.

    Carina: Something is wrong here. [Pause] My hand is not coming out of the wax!

    Oscar: You’re really not lucky today, are you missy? And I still need that down payment regardless of wardrobe malfunctions.

    Sebastian: You know what, here. [Hands money to Oscar] I remember a booth that has leashes close by and I’ll pay for it all; just give me the goat so we can try to salvage the evening.

    Oscar: It’s a llama, boy, pure breed at that. Now take good care of him or I keep the fifty.

    Carina: This is a rip off. Seriously you’re at fault here. Your llama and wax are ruining my day. At least Sebastian’s wax hand came off intact, but my hand is useless now. Sebastian, let’s go to that walk, path thing you were raving about.

    Sebastian: With the llama? Alright, the Secret Garden is just a 2 minute walk from here, and give me the dang llama leash, gimpy.
    [Exeunt Oscar]

    [Stage directions: They lead Pedro to the Secret Garden only to find that it’s closed due to the storm. The yellow gate has a closed sign hanging from its hinge and the fence is in disarray while the path is littered with wilted flowers and branches. ]

    Sebastian: Shoot! That was the finale. I can’t believe my favorite attraction is closed, and you still haven’t seen it yet.

    Pedro: Maaarrraaaa-slm. [Spits at a passing child who then runs off crying]

    Carina: I’m sorry, he’s not mine, honest.

    Sebastian: Well, I’m not sure how casual we can be about sneaking in with a llama, but I’m willing to try. How about you?

    Carina: It’d make my day. I don’t think they even have security here anyways. Lead the way Prince Charming.

    Sebastian: Let’s go in through the exit, it’s hidden by a wall. Come on Pedro, be a good boy, a good quiet boy that doesn’t spit on innocent children.

    Pedro: Slm. [Spits at Sebastian but misses]

    Sebastian: Move along slobber mouth.

    [Stage directions: They make it in without anyone noticing. And find themselves staring at the bubbling waterfall with fairy statues beautifully arranged on logs and rocks. The path is partially muddy because a tree breached the rock levy for the pond]

    Carina: It really was worth dodging all those fallen trees, it’s so adorable. The only thing it’s missing is my tart. [Glares at Pedro]

    Sebastian: You and food. It’s a never ending love affair, speaking of never ending love…

    Pedro: MaaaaaRRRRAAAA.

    Carina: Oh, no! Pedro. Don’t go up there!! Sebastian, grab him!

    Sebastian: I can’t, he’s too far and he’s the one with hooves, this is his terrain.

    Carina: He ate my bracelet and is costing us 25 dollars per hour. There is no way you can just let him stay up there; we’re not even supposed to be here in the first place. What do you want me to do, go up to someone and say, “hey, my llama is stuck up on the closed Secret Garden waterfalls and I can’t get him back because my hand is encased in wax and my friend is too scared to get woolly moron down himself.”

    Sebastian: I never said I was scared, I said it’s dangerous. I…

    Pedro: MARRRRRAAARRRAAAAAA.

    Carina: Dang Pedro! He got his collar caught on one of the fallen trees, now is not the time for excuses. Go get that fuzz ball down.

    Sebastian: As you wish, princess.

    [Stage directions: Sebastian scrambles up the muddy, chaotic hill and makes it to Pedro who is thrashing frantically]

    Pedro: Slm. Slm. MRAa. Slm. [Spits wildly]

    Sebastian: Pedro, calm down. Please don’t bite me; I just want to get you down. Uuf. Was that really necessary? My head is not as hard as yours! …Just let me, get, ok, here we go. [Says quietly to Pedro] Time to get back to our fair maiden. Hold on, what’s this?

    [Stage directions: As Sebastian starts to lead Pedro from the top of the waterfall he sees something shiny caught on a twig in the water. He picks it up and realizes it’s the bracelet. The water washed it clean and no gems were missing. He pockets it and steers Pedro to the side of the waterfall that has most of its stepping stones in place. Sebastian mounts him and rides down the hill.]

    Carina: Well if it isn’t my Prince Charming and his trusty white steed.

    Sebastian: Milady, I have a gift for you; a bracelet as beautiful and shiny as its owner. The water polished it, if you were wondering. May I put it on your wrist?

    Carina: I’m going to put some hand sanitizer on it first, but after that, yes. Put it in my obnoxiously, useless hand, please. [Pause] Oh, look at that! The wax is coming off! Of course, the hand sanitizer is washing it off. Now I feel stupid.

    Sebastian: It must be the fairy magic; they’re looking out for you.

    Carina: The only magic here is that gorgeous sunset. It’s so lovely.
    Sebastian: Not as lovely as you. I had wanted to ask you earlier, but with all the craziness that happened it didn’t feel appropriate. [Pause] Carina, will you go out with me?

    Carina: I thought we already were. I mean you bought me this really expensive dress, took me to your favorite place and even remembered our pinky promise. You were so obvious.

    Sebastian: [Pause] Well then, mood killer. Hop aboard the llama express and let’s get out of here before someone hears Pedro.

    Pedro: Feed me.