• This is my first time writing a story in about 4 years. Please tell me what you think of it and if it is too long please let me know if I should make it alittle smaller.This is my first chapter to my story.

    This is my story I just began working on, I'm a fan of avatar and thought I would make my own story. Comments and suggestion are welcomed thank you.

    The bender protest



    Chapter 1
    Location: Lysane city, 50 miles away from republic city. Home to 1,200 people
    Name: Saar flan
    Age: 19

    Description: Saar, born and raised in republic city , but due to the protests has been living alone hidden from much of the world. Having discovered that he is a water bender Saar has been among the remaining benders who regularly have to go about their lives in secret. Amon is no where to be found but the Equalists still exists and believe that bending is truly the root of all evil. They have invented technology that can do away with a bender’s bending ability and have been equalizing benders all around the world. Not even the Avatar and her friends have been able to hide away from these ruthless people. The world and all benders are truly in trouble and hope is not on the horizon.

    7:37 Am
    Saar looks out the window of his 1 room apartment watching as the outside world goes about their day as normal. He sighs “ if only I could go about my life as normal as those people”. He watches as light drizzle falls from the cloudy skies hitting the cold pavement. Saar closes his window and begins to get dress for work. He puts on some Jean pants a short sleeve blue shirt and throws on a black hoodie covering his black slick spikey hair. He pulls his hood over his head, then reaches for his backpack which contains nothing but a bottle of water and his private note pad. He walks out into the hallway, locking his door on his way out and he beings heading to the back exit. Making his way outside and beginning a new day for Saar is nothing to look forward to. Saar looks up and see’s a billboard perched on a building next to his apartment with a picture of a bender being “cleansed” of their wicked power. This is the same billboard that has been there for over a year but each day Saar looks at it and can only wonder if he will be the next victim to be cleansed by the Equalists. Underneath the picture reads “ Yesterday was their day, but today is our future”.

    Saar grinds down on his teeth and mutters to himself “If only I could use my power to do away with these clowns!” Nothing would be more pleasing for Saar, but the consequences of using his power in anyway where people can see, would bring a tragic end to his bending. Saar beings walking down the street, he sees 4 mega tanks heading towards his direction 2 on each side of the street. Nervously Saar puts his head down, not trying to allow his face to be seen. The mega tanks stroll by him without incident. Saar thinks to himself “I have nothing to hide from these people, no one knows I’m a bender so why I get nervous around those things makes no sense to me.” He walks around a corner and see’s a crowd of about 50 or more people standing around a podium in the center of the town. Saar looks, he beings slowly walking closer to the crowd unsure what to expect. He inches closer and hears the crowd chanting “Grimier! Grimier! Grimier!
    “Grimier? Who is that” Saar says to himself. Saar remembers the last time he saw a crowd . It was in the same spot where the crowd was now. A crowd of people were beating a bender who had been equalized. They had severely injured the bender leaving him lifeless in the middle of the street. Saar brought him to the hospital, but instead the hospital refused to treat for his wounds leaving him in the care of Saar. A tear dripped down Saar’s face as he remembered that poor innocent person. “He was only 15” Saar said to himself . Saar never forgave himself for not protecting that kid. “A group of punks took his life and I allowed it to happen” Saar repeated the line in his head.

    Saar quickly abandoned the thought and lifted his head up to see a man approaching the podium. Saar began to examine him, the man appeared to be 6 feet in height. 2 inches taller then Saar. The man wore a military style uniform and a hat covering the top of his head. “Was this Grimier ?” Saar thought to himself. The man approached the microphone and began talking. “I’m so glad you could all make it my fellow Equalists!” “We are finally ever closer to starting a new chapter in history. 4 years ago benders ran around these streets controlling us, but now with the avatar gone and much of those putrid benders we have nothing to fear! We will continue our quest to bringing every bender we find to their ultimate doom! I give out a warning to any benders hearing this, you can’t hide for long. Anyone who knows of benders that are around and refuses to contact the authority’s will face justice as well”! Saar began looking around at the security guarding the podium. 2 mega tanks stood behind the man on the podium, while a half a dozen police officers stood in front of the podium between the crowd and the podium speaker. The officers carried electric guns that shot out nets that would trap a person and give them an electric charge knocking them unconscious. Also equipped to their belts were blinding grenades and a electric night stick.

    The officers also wore masks covering the majority of their face except for their eyes. The man on the podium finished speaking and the crowd around him erupted in cheers yelling. “Our savior Grimier”! Saar now knew it was Grimier that stood at the podium, but didn’t know who this man truly was or what he was about. Saar put his head down and began moving on his way trying to ignore the chants coming from the crowd behind him. Saar decides to cut down an alley to take a short cut to his job at the cement factory. Saar knows if he is late once more it could cost him his job. He looks at his wrist watch, “7:52 dang” Saar says to himself. “8 minutes to get to work” He takes off jogging down the alley almost half way through when he hears noise and sees a old man curled up in a ball with a fire bender towering over him. The fire bender has fire blazing from his palms. Saar approaches cautiously when the fire bender turns and looks at Saar. They both held their stance, Saar barks an order at the fire bender to “back away from the old man” but the attacker stood still with his fist curled. Saar knows nothing good is going to come about and braces himself for a fight.

    From what Saar can see the attacker is dressed in black baggy pants with a black Jacket and a mask concealing his mouth and nose. Saar can see his eyes and brown short hair. He stares straight into the eyes of the fire bender and he stares right back. Saar knows typically a fire bender has the upper hang over a water bender during the day and that at night the water bender would have the upper hand, but he also knows he’s been trained to fight since he was 13 and he knows that will play as a big advantage for him. The rain begins picking up, and with all this water Saar knows this will help him in this fight.

    The fire bender sends a flurry of fire balls at Saar, Saar quickly dives out of the way and slides across the slippery ground. He quickly sends ice crystals at the fire bender, who also dodges out of the way of the crystals and returns with a strong blast of fire. Saar creates a wall of water blocking the fire blast from hitting him and then charges at the fire bender with his fists crystalized in ice, he gets within a foot of him when he gets blasted by a fire burst knocking him on his back. Saar quickly climbs back to his feet to see another blast head straight towards him, he quickly blasts the fire down with water and then releases a water blast into the fire bender knocking him over. Saar quickly regains the momentum and hits a few ice balls hitting the thug in the head and chest causing his body to collapse . The thug slowly gets up when Saar then sends a blast of water smashing the fire bender in the side of the wall of one of the buildings. Saar’s eyes blaze with anger, he waits for the thug to rise again and when he does he shoots water at one of his legs that freezes up trapping his leg. Saar then charges at him and delivers a devastating kick to the chest of the fire bender sending him across the alley in a rag doll effect into a couple of trash cans.


    Saar stands waiting a few seconds to see if the thug will rise again, but his body just lays on the ground motionless. Saar walks by the motionless body and heads toward the old man. Saar looks down at the old man who is unconscious. Why was the fire bender attacking him? Was this old man part of the Equalists? Was he just innocent and in the wrong place at the wrong time? Saar didn’t know the answers, all he knew was he had to get him help.