• You always seem to catch me off guard. Maybe I'll find myself humming a few bars of your favorite song, or the air will, for that brief, happy moment, carry the scent of your worn out tees. With them always comes a slight lurch in the pit of my stomach, as if I just caught a fist. Slowly it fills me, this dull ache. With a glance of jet black hair a lump in my throat, remembering one of your god-awful stories, a sudden throbbing at my temples. Soon it consumes me, you consume me, a spreading fever as if the very memory is a virus tearing me apart at the cellular level.The simple act of existing becomes a chore, my gasping lungs begging me to lie down and let time wash over me as you go on. Every second spent listlessly staring at cracks on the ceiling is a reminder that you'll never again say goodnight over the phone, never again try to make me smile, never again hold me in your arms and stare into my eyes, make the world around us stop spinning. All I had to give you was my everything, until one day that wasn't enough. I hope one day you will love someone as I love you, someone who brings out a person you never knew, and then one day disappears. I hope you know that longing, that's now so much a part of you, that you're alive and alone. I hope one day a slight lurch will hit the pit of your stomach, and you will think of me.