• "I think, therefore I am."
    - Rene Descartes

    My only question for Rene is, if we are because we think, do we become what we think? No. "I do, therefore I am" is the proper saying in my opinion. And I know that I didn’t do anything wrong.


    Now I guess I should stop talking in riddles. Here’s what happened. On exactly April 3rd, the girl I had been dying to date asked me out. Naturally, I said yes. So we were doing well for about a week, until I left to go for a 6 day vacation. I went alone, and when I got to where I was supposed to be, I just so happened to run into someone. Someone, who would absolutely crush my heart into a million pieces in the near future. You know how there’s supposed to be one person who you’re supposed to be with forever out there? Seeing her changed that for me. I'd found someone else. If you’ve ever read Eclipse, then you might just understand how I felt. I felt like I'd imprinted. You get it? Okay then.

    At this point, I was the most naive person ever, and I thought that I and my girlfriend were going to last forever. Get married, have kids, the whole deal.
    So I absolutely refused to even talk to her twice. We had one conversation, and I made a point NOT to even learn her name. And I still don’t know her name. And through all my efforts, I actually managed to suppress all the feelings I had for her. When I got home, I had almost totally forgotten she had existed. But I’m getting ahead of myself. You see, I am weird. I prefer making friends who happen to be girls, which is really weird for my age group. So when I got home, I told my girlfriend everything, because I crack easily. But I didn’t tell her about the one girl whose name I didn’t even know, because like I said. I forgot she existed. But apparently, my girlfriend didn’t even like the idea of me hanging out with other girls. So, exactly one day before our one month anniversary, she dumped me.

    From somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered her.

    I know it sounds like I did something wrong, but I really didn't. I loved my girlfriend. I still do. I will forever. Sometimes, I compare my self to Bella Swan. And my ex to Edward. I know it sounds messed up gender-wise, but Bella knew she couldn’t have Edward and Jacob. But she knew that she needed Edward. I just wish my ex was more understanding. But it’s too late now. Too late for a second chance. Too late for explaining. Too late for an apology for something I didn’t do. Too late for depression. Too late for the pathetic tears. Too late for anything but realizing that the only cheating that ever went on was in my head. And we are not what we thing, but what we did, we do, and what we will do to improve or overcome the past.

    I did nothing wrong.