• “Where have you been?”
    “Shut the hell up, Gloria. It’s none of your business.”
    Loud, angry voices buzzed in my ear like a fly, dragging me from my land of make-believe. It had been such a good dream, too. One where I was a princess saved from an unwanted step-father king by my knight in shining armor.
    “You’ve been drinking again. Don’t you care about anyone other than yourself?”
    “I said shut the hell up, you stupid b***h.”
    Too bad it was only a dream. I cracked an eye open, not wanting to move, and glanced at the clock on my nightstand. 12:04 am. I squeezed my eyes shut. The angry fly buzzed louder in my ear. I wanted to swat it, kill it for ruining the perfect still of the night, but my arms were heavy like lead, keeping me curled in my nest of a bed.
    Slowly, the buzzing died down. The fly had gone elsewhere to bother someone else. Sleep came, but not as quickly as it had before. It was like this every night. I will never get used to it.

    It was dark, and the stench was horrid. Like rotting meat mixed with sour milk. Then I saw the eyes. Bright, red, gleaming. I took a step back and heard a loud crunching sound. I tore my eyes away from the fearsome orbs to look down. A rat’s skeleton lay crushed under my feet. Horrified, I looked back up, realizing where I was. The dragon’s lair. I tried calling out for help, but my throat was dry, and I could only whimper in fear. The dragon inhaled and growled. He knew I was there.

    Oh, where are you, brave knight?


    The dragon lunged at me. My human body to slow, too weak to react, I was pinned to the wall by his claws. Red eyes glared at me. He opened his mouth, and I was hit by a wave of putrid scent. Then I was thrown up, up into the air, like a rag doll, straight at the dragon’s mouth. He was going to eat me. And where are you, my knight in shining armor? Why aren’t you here to rescue me?

    I jolted awake with a start. The sheets were tangled around me, and I was soaked with sweat. I blinked a few times, discerning fantasy from reality. Already, the dream was fading from me; slipping through my fingers like sand. But the fear still remained. I glanced at the clock. 3:30 am. Two hours and thirty minutes before I had to wake up. Afraid to fall asleep again, I untangled myself from my bed and wandered silently to the bathroom. I flipped on the light, shielding my eyes from the sudden brightness. I turned the tap on and put my fingers under the cool water, gazing absentmindedly at the creature that stared back at me in the mirror. Long, wavy dirty-blonde hair, sunkissed from long hours spent outside during the summer, currently in a tangled mess from sleep. Olive skin. High cheek bones. Thin, red lips. And those eyes. Grey green with golden flecks. Their piercing gaze held many secrets and lies. I looked for a few more seconds before suddenly splashing water on my face, the cold liquid making my skin tingle with awakeness.
    I walked back into my room, picking up my phone from the desk by the window as I headed back to my bed. I turned it on. The friendly chime and “Welcome!” screen greeted me. A few seconds later, the screen flashed blue. Two messages.
    The first was from Jack.

    Thinking of you. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I love you. <3


    It was sent at 11:59. I smiled ruefully, thinking of the dream I’d been having then that had been rudely interrupted moments later.

    I was thinking of you, too, my knight in shining armor.

    The second one was from my best friend, Seth.

    We can pick you up tomorrow. If you want a ride to school.


    I’d known Seth since I’d been in diapers. I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. So much, in fact, that it was almost as if we could read each other’s minds, which might explain why he’d sent the message only moments after I’d fallen back asleep again. He was good at guessing when I wanted to leave the house ASAP. Or maybe he’d heard the fly, too, since his house is right next to ours, and figured I wouldn’t want to stick around to listen to more buzzing.

    Please and thank you.


    I sent the reply, then leaned back onto my pillows and looked up at the ceiling. I looked for shapes—rabbits being eaten by bears, clown faces, dinosaurs. It’s like cloud watching. Only there’s no sky. Just four walls and a ceiling fan.

    YEAH YOU! SHOOK ME AAAAAALL NIIIIIIIGHT LOOOOOOOOONG!


    “Ahhh! Ellie!!”
    Ellie, my other best friend, is forever stealing my phone and putting random ringtones for everyone. And she never picks soft songs. No, just the loud, obnoxious ones because she claims I won’t hear them if they aren’t loud enough. But there was one plus to the ringtones. No one in my phone book had the same song, so I never had to look at who was calling. ACDC meant Seth.
    My heart still pounding as fast as the rabbit’s on the ceiling, if he had had a heart, I hit the “Send” button.
    “Jeez, Seth, you scared me.”
    “I’m sorry. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
    I could hear the concern in his voice. He was selfless like that, always looking out for everyone else’s feelings.
    “No. I just didn’t expect to get a call.”
    “Oh.”
    There was a pause. I looked back up at my artificial sky, trying to find the bunny again, but all I could see was a mad dog’s face. My eyes must be playing tricks.
    “Lucy?”
    “Huh?”
    It took me a second to realize I was still on the phone with Seth.
    “Sorry, I’m really out of it.”
    “I’ll bet… I heard the fight. Sounded like he was really wasted this time.”
    “Yeah…”
    I didn’t really want to talk about it. Jeff, my step dad, is possibly the biggest jerk I’ve ever met. But Mom can’t leave him. Unemployed, she depends on Jeff the Jerkface to make ends meet. And since he’s the owner of a car dealership, he does so well. But with his big job title comes a big ego. Mom is his trophy wife, and me and my younger half-sister Chelsea are his slaves. He favored my older brother, Scott, who is now off at Rice, and spoiled him as if he were his own. I think he had no son syndrome or something. You know, he always wanted a boy, but never had one.
    “Lucy, are you alright?”
    “Me…? I’m fine.”
    My automatic response. Seth would see through it.
    “Maybe I’m just tired or something.”
    I rarely lied about how I felt with Seth, and it always made me feel guilty when I did. Maybe telling him half the truth would make it better. But what was that old saying? A half truth is still a lie. Oh well. At least I didn’t do it often.
    “Oh. I guess maybe you should get some more sleep, then. We have to run a mile in gym tomorrow. Or, really, I should say today.”
    I smiled quietly at his self-correction.
    “Yeah. You’re right. I’ll see you tomorrow, Seth.”
    “You mean today.”
    “Right. Today.”
    “And, hey, don’t worry about Jeff. Four more years and you won’t have to put up with him anymore.”
    “That’s reassuring.”
    “I mean it. Now, get some rest.”
    “Alright.”
    I sighed and hit the “End” button. Though my eyes ached with tiredness, I had no intention of going back to sleep. I grabbed my sketch pad from the nightstand and flipped it open to a blank page. I heard a tinkling noise from the foot of my bed and Mittens, my calico cat, hopped up on the bed. She found a comfortable spot in the nest and curled up. I scratched her behind the ear. She started purring contentedly. I stared at her for a few seconds, and then I began to draw.

    heart heart heart


    The beeping of the alarm jerked me from my trance. 6:00. I looked down at my sketch pad. A dragon, curled up, sleeping. I stared at it, wondering why it looked so familiar. Giving up, I tore it out of my sketch pad and threw it at the waste bin by the desk, which was already littered with all my other attempts at making what was locked in the labyrinth of my head real.
    I shut my alarm off and stretched my arms over my head. It probably wasn’t a good idea to sit in such a cramped position for so long; my joints were all stiff.
    “Morning, you.”
    I patted Mittens gently on the head and she chirped a good morning back. I slid off the bed, looking around the floor for something to wear. I used to be a neat freak. Everything had to be spotless; I even kept Endust in a drawer in my room, just in case. But lately, it seemed to matter less and less. My bed was rarely ever made, my desk was cluttered with paper, and the floor and just about everything else was littered with dirty clothes. Every now and then, a remnant of my OCD kicks in, and I spend a day in a cleaning frenzy. But it never lasts. Perfection is just impossible. Especially for me. But that’s just life.
    I finally found the shirt I was looking for. It was a slim fit dark grey tee with a pretty smoky-white flower pattern. Ellie gave it to me on my birthday two years ago. I threw it on and went in search for a pair of jeans. There was a pair lying on the chair by my desk, so I grabbed them and slipped them on. I headed for the bathroom and as I went through my morning routine, I thought back to a few days ago. Maybe I was wrong about my imperfections. There was one tiny, perfect fragment in my life. Him.

    The sun was setting over the rooftops of the nearby houses. We sat in the park on a bench, his arm over my shoulder, pulling me close. I snuggled into his side, enjoying the feel of his body against mine. He tilted my head up, his beautiful chocolate-brown eyes gazing into mine, making my insides melt. Oh, I love him so much. Everything about him is so perfect. He’s tall, with a strong, lean figure. Good at every sport he ever tried, though, of course, he usually got bored of them because most of the other guys were meatheads. He’s brilliant. Smarter than most people I know. I’m sure one day he’s going to be a multi-millionaire living in a big beautiful house. A musician. He’s not only first chair trumpet in the top band, but a bass player in a hip band. Though he claims he’s not that great, I think he’s wonderful. And then, of course, there are the little quirks about him. His shy smile that drives me crazy. The way he calls me Baby. The small gestures like holding the door open or carrying my bag that make him such a gentleman. And, oh, his eyes. Such a gentle look. So much love. It makes me want to hold him close and never let go.
    “Oh, Jack, I love you so much.”
    My heart ached with the feelings I had for him. If the world ended at this moment, I wouldn’t notice. He is my world. He is my everything.
    “Words can’t describe the feelings I have for you, Lucy. I’ve never felt this way for anyone or anything. I want to be with you forever. And I swear to you, one day, when we’re older, I will marry you.”
    How did he do it? My heart did a somersault like a gymnast at the Olympics, and, before I had a chance to catch my breath from the shock of the power of what he’d said, he kissed me with such a fierce passion, I was swept away by the tide of emotions. My stomach did a drop that felt like that from a roller coaster, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and curled my fingers in his blonde hair, pulling him closer.
    Forever. My stomach flitted with excited butterflies the word set off. He’s mine. Forever.

    YEAH YOU! SHOOK ME AAAAAALL NIIIIIIIGHT LOOOOOOOOONG!


    I jumped with a start. I was never going to get used to it. I sighed and went to my bed, where my phone lay hidden under the sheets.
    “Hey.”
    “We’re outside, whenever you’re ready. I’ve got a bagel for you, if you want it.”
    “Okay. Thanks, Seth. I owe you one.”
    “Nah. Just think of this as an early Christmas gift, or something.”
    “Right. I’ll be out in a minute.”
    “See you then.”
    I hung up and grabbed my backpack from the end of my bed. I stuffed my phone into the front pocket and headed down the stairs to the front door as quietly as possible. Jeff was always a nightmare after a night of drinking. Like a dragon. No, he was a dragon. Just a lot smaller and unable to breathe fire. I smiled at my little joke.
    I put on my shoes by the door and slipped out, quiet as a mouse. Outside, Seth’s older brother, Jeremy, had his car, a white minivan, stalled at the curb. I hurried down the walkway to the car and slipped in the door, held open by Seth.
    “Hiya, Lucy.”
    Seth smiled widely, looking down at me with his big, grey eyes through his glasses. Although he’s only 14, Seth stands a grand total of 5 feet 10 inches. His lanky figure makes him appear clumsy, but he’s as graceful as a ballerina. He has brown hair that always seems to be a mess. For some reason, his appearance reminds me of a dog. Of course, I’d never say that to his face, even though I mean it in a non-offensive way. He’s a loyal friend. Like a dog is a loyal companion. Or maybe I’m just weird. Comparing my friends to animals.
    “Hey, Seth. Hey, Jeremy.”
    Jeremy nodded at me through the rearview mirror. He looked a lot like Seth, except his eyes are dark blue, and he chooses to wear contacts. He and Seth never fight. Although not the best of friends, they aren’t like usual siblings that yell and scream every time they see each other. Jeremy is the quiet type, but has a profound way with words. One day, he’ll be a famous writer. Or at least I hope so. It would be so sad if his talent goes to waste in an office building.
    He pulled off the curb and started to drive out of the neighborhood. We lived in the back of a rather old neighborhood where the street is canopied by gigantic oaks. It’s beautiful, and it reminds me of some sort of magical forest. Our school is in the newer subdivision, which is still nothing but houses. Like the neighborhood from Edward Scissorhands, except there are no shrubs. I hate it. I want so badly to just be a giant that can sweep my hand over the land and have instant, beautiful vegetation sprout up everywhere.
    Seth took a brown paper lunch bag from his backpack and took out two chocolate chip bagels. He handed one to me. I smiled at him.
    “You’re a real life saver, you know that?”
    He laughed and nodded.
    “Anything for you, darrrrling.”
    He said it in his fake British accent. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. It was still dark out. Jeremy turned up the volume on the radio. It was some Spanish station. They were playing a song by Enrique Iglesias. I caught a few of the words. Why are you something something something. Jeremy always listened to weird stations. Probably for his muse. I wish I could remember what the words meant.
    My parents came from Spain. When I was little, I used to speak fluent Spanish. But after Dad… after Dad was in the accident… Mom stopped speaking Spanish around the house, and I slowly forgot most of what I knew. It’s starting to come back with the Spanglish they teach us in school, but I doubt I’ll ever be able to speak that way again.
    I nibbled on the bagel, trying to forget the thoughts. That was a dark time. I don’t remember much of it. I was so young. But I do remember Mom’s reaction. The tears… her small frame curling in on itself, like she wanted to disappear from the world.
    “Lucy, you’re doing it again.”
    “Doing what?”
    I turned back to look at Seth, who was watching me very closely.
    “That thing where you space out. What are you thinking about?”
    I squirmed a little and tried to think of a way to change the subject. If I’d been pondering anything else, I would have told him. But I didn’t like talking about my past. I didn’t even like to think about it, really. Like most things, it just happened.
    “We’re here.”
    Jeremy’s quiet voice made me jump with a start. I forgot he was in the car with us. I looked out the window at our high school, more like a penitentiary than anything else. Carlton High has been around since the early 1920s, long enough that many of the students that attended school here have parents, some grandparents, which attended it when they were young. It’s a massive building with few windows and many hallways. My first day here I got lost looking for my English class. Thank heavens Jack found me on his way to his chemistry lab, or I never would have found my way.
    I grabbed my backpack off the floor and followed Seth, who was holding the car door open for me, out of Jeremy’s minivan. The parking lot of our school is nothing but flat land. I wish it could be like some of the other schools, with little islands of trees. Maybe it would make this place look a little nicer. Then again, maybe not. They’d probably die from negligence, just like everything and everyone else at this school.
    The sun was coming up now, and the horizon was a pretty color of rosy peach.
    “Red in the morning, sailor’s warning. Red at night, sailor’s delight.”
    I turned and looked at Jeremy. He was gazing at the morning sky, too. The little rhyme sounded familiar. I can’t remember where I’d heard it before. Jeremy glanced at me and smiled his knowing smile before nodding his head and heading towards the school.
    “SETH!!! LUCY!!!”
    It was my two second warning before Ellie tackled me in what she called a “glomp.” She defines it as the act of dramatically hugging someone in a non-sexual way. She says she heard about it on one of those weird anime shows she watches. I think she’s making stuff up.
    “Hi Ellie... ouch.”
    She was choking me. She tends to get carried away when she’s excited. But it’s okay. Much better than the way she was last year. I don’t know why people freak out over drugs. Anti-depressants can do wonders for a person.
    “Sorry. So, did you study for the bio quiz? I hear it’s a toughie!”
    “Bio quiz…?”
    Great. I completely forgot. School is usually easy for me. But for some reason, biology is hard for me to grasp. I can’t wait for next year. I love chemistry.
    “So… you didn’t. Well, you have time. You have it seventh period, don’t you?”
    “Yeah…”
    My heart was sinking already. No amount of studying would get me through that class. I’m usually an A/B student, but I’d be completely satisfied if I passed biology with a C. But, as luck would have it, I’m borderlining below C average.
    “Don’t worry, Lucy. I’ll help you study.”
    Seth smiled at me warmly and placed a hand lightly on my shoulder. I looked up at him, trying hard not to smile back. Seth is horrible in school. I mean, he’s brilliant with computers, but that’s about it. He says he’s going to drop out of school and start his own business making computers. Every time he brings it up, Ellie tells him that he can’t, because Bill Gates already did it. I’m not entirely sure why that would matter, so long as Seth is successful. Who knows? Maybe Seth will be the next Bill Gates. And I can tell all my grandchildren about how I was friends with one of the most successful people in the country.

    BING! BING! BING! BING!


    “Good grief, calm down, Lucy, it’s only the bell.”
    I looked at Ellie, slightly dazed. I really need to get out of this habit of getting lost in my thoughts. I’m becoming a basket case.
    “…Let’s go before we’re late to class”
    I started heading towards our school, looking around the parking lot as I did. Occasionally I got to see Jack before class started. It wasn’t like it was a big deal, since we had lunch together, but usually it helped get me through my morning classes. But after thoroughly scanning the parking lot, I gave up the notion of spending some time with him before history class. It’s weird. I know I’ll see him, but for some reason, it made me really sad that I didn’t get the chance to. My stomach had a weird feeling in it, you know, the one you get when something just isn’t right. Or maybe I’m just weird. I’m not entirely sure.
    Grandma says everyone has a special gift. She’s psychic. She’s told me so many things, like how I’ll fall in love with the boy I’m going to marry in high school. That’s Jack, of course. She says that I’ll live a happy life, once I discover who I am. Whatever that means. She says I have a gift, too. Mine is being able to tell what people are feeling, especially strong feelings. And I can tell when something bad is going on. Which is why I hate the gut feeling. Sometimes it’s wrong. Sometimes it’s nothing. I get the gut feeling all the time these days. Most of the time it’s minor things, like Jeff being in a foul mood when I get home. I hope that’s all it is. But hope is all I can do.
    I wandered into World Geography and sat down in my spot. It’s kind of in the middle of the room. I like to sit there. It’s the space where teachers are less likely to notice you. If you sit in the front, you’re one of those brainiac kids that answer all the teacher’s questions. If you sit in the back, you’re a slacker, and therefore the teacher calls you up to the board all the time, just to make a fool out of you because he knows you aren’t listening. I am neither a brainiac with all the answers or a slacker with none. So I choose the middle. Neutral territory. The safest place to be.
    Ellie bounced in after me. We have first period together. Poor Seth is stuck in algebra all by himself. Ellie has it third. I took algebra back in middle school, so I’m in geometry this year.
    “Oh my gosh! Lucy, I heard the best song ever last night!”
    Ellie turned to me, her bright hazel eyes shining with excitement. She reminds me of a sprite. Or a pixie. She has short jet black hair and a round face. She’s also really short. About five foot one. And she’s always wearing something bright and flashy. Dresses usually. She has an aversion to pants unless they’re skinny jeans and a neon color. She has light freckles on her face, making her look like a little kid. She hates that. She says she wants to look more mature, like me. I’m not really sure how I’m mature. Honestly, I don’t think I am at all. Just a kid. Like her.
    “Yeah? What’s it called?”
    “Oh, I don’t know. But it had this amazing beat and the singer has the most amazing voice ever! I’ll have to send it to you tonight.”
    She was always doing that. Finding songs, that is. She’s really into music. Ever since elementary school, Ellie’s been in band. She plays the clarinet, although she tells me she’s dabbled with the other instruments as well. Ellie also has a fantastic voice, but, oddly enough, she’s really shy about it. Once you get her started, though, you can’t stop her. Which is okay, since she really can sing.
    The bell for class to begin rang, and the loud speaker came on.
    “Good morning Cardinals! Please rise for the saying of the pledge to be given by Lieutenant Josh Gregor.”
    The class stood and turned toward the rather ragged looking flag at the front of the class. The kid on the intercom mumbled out the Pledge of Allegiance and the class followed along in discourse. I usually don’t say the pledge. Not because I dislike America, but because I hate how no one can say it with iambic pentameter. Ipledgeallegiancetotheflagoftheunitedstatesofamerica. That’s all I hear. One big, messy word.
    “Please remain standing for a moment of silence.”
    Another thing I hate. It was okay back in 4th grade, when they started this, because it was two years after 9/11. A moment of silence to remember loved ones lost. But now it’s just annoying. It would be okay if we could sit down, but they make us stand. And I think they don’t watch the clock too closely. The “Moment of Silence” seems to last forever. But I wouldn’t know. Every time I think of it I either can’t see the clock, or I didn’t start timing it in time.
    “Thanks, Cardinals, have a great day!”
    The loud clicking noise signified the end of the announcements and there was quiet chattering as everyone in the room sat down.
    “Guys, quiet down. I know World Geography is super exciting, but we need to go over the tests from last week.”
    A groan swept through the class.
    “Now now. They weren’t that bad, for the most part. In fact, only a handful of people failed in all the classes combined.”
    There were quiet murmurings and rustlings of paper as Mr. Warner, or Coach Warner, as all the soccer kids called him, passed out our tests. He handed me mine upside down and gave me a small smile.
    “Good job, Lucy.”
    I turned my paper over. There was a 100 with a little curve under the zeros to make a smilie face.
    “Wadja make?”
    Before I had time to reply, Ellie ripped the test from my hands and held it up next to hers, staring intently at the two as if she were doing a tough game of “What’s different” in the newspaper.
    “God, Lucy. How do you do it? I got a 76.”
    I gave her a half smile and shrugged my shoulders. Geography is easy. Just study maps and charts and there you go.
    Ellie sighed dramatically and tossed my test back onto my desk. I grabbed it absentmindedly and began to shuffle through my backpack, looking for the bright orange folder labeled “World Geo, Per. 1.” I shoved my test into the battered folder then put my head down on the desk, last night’s insomnia finally catching up with me.
    I made it a game to see how long I could keep my eyes open, my eyelids getting heavier and heavier each time they shut and opened. The sound of Mr. Warner’s voice in the background of my thoughts made me feel warm and fuzzy, like I wasn’t really sitting in my first period class, but I was in front of a roaring fire somewhere in the mountains in the middle of winter. Jack’s face swam into my fantasy, and I remembered the way his lips felt pressed against mine. I curled my fingers and felt my heart accelerated at the thought. In my mind I told him I couldn’t wait to be alone with him again.

    “Hey! Wake up! We have five minutes left!”
    I snapped my head up, startled by Ellie shouting in my ear and her hand hitting me hard on the back. My eyes watered as they adjusted to the light and I blinked slowly, trying to remember where I was.
    “You know, you really should get your sleep during the night, like most normal people.”
    My ears picked up on the word normal, and for an instant, I thought I had heard malice in her voice, but I glanced up at her slowly, and saw she was smiling sympathetically and shaking her head. She really did have an odd way of showing her affection.
    “I know. It was… another rough night in the House of Horrors.”
    House of Horrors was something of an inside joke between me, Ellie, and Seth. Although it was a rather morbid one, Seth had been on one of his heated tangents about how much he hated Jeff and his ‘House of Horrors’ where he kept my mother and me locked away. Ellie pointed out his play on words and since then, that’s what we’ve called it.
    “Ohh. Jeff. Man, he sucks. You should give him the ol’ one two!”
    “Yeah…”
    Just then the bell rang loudly, and everyone around me began to grab their bags and rush towards the door, in a desperate frenzy to get to their next class.
    “See ya at lunch!”
    “See you.”
    Ellie waved energetically and shot off towards the door, leaving me waving my half-wave, and smiling a crooked smile.
    I gathered my things slowly, my mind wandering back to the fireside in the mountains. More than anything, I wanted that break from life right now.
    Making my way blindly to English, I thought about how much happier I would be if I was out of school right now, spending time with Jack. He was like a breath of fresh air, the sun after the storm. Last night may have been bad, but I knew that after I saw him today, I would feel much better. The thought made me smile.
    “Hey, Lucy! How was World Geo? Did we get our tests back?”
    I was startled when I suddenly realized that I was sitting down in my English class. Seth had just walked in the door and was making his way over to his desk on the other side of the room to drop his stuff off before ambling slowly over to mine. Mrs. Gregory was a stickler for assigned seating, so our long history of sitting next to each other in classes was broken for the first time in freshman English.
    “We got them back. It seems like we’ll need to help Ellie out with studying again.”
    Seth grinned widely and rolled his eyes.
    “Doesn’t surprise me. Can’t wait to see what I got on the test. So, hey, are you ready to continue on in Romeo and Juliet?”
    I couldn’t help smiling at this. Ever since Scott was a freshman, I had loved Shakespearian literature. I used to make my brother read the lines over and over again with me, and I soon came to know the play by heart. Mrs. Gregory absolutely loved this, and was always asking me to explain what was going on in scenes, or to play the part of one of the lead characters, much to the displeasure of all the theatre kids in our class.
    “Of course. We’re reading my favorite scene today, you know.”
    Seth nodded sagely, his face becoming a serious mask.
    “Yes. The window scene. ‘Romeo, oh Romeo! Where are you, Romeo!”
    He had struck a dramatic pose while saying this, and I giggled and shook my head.
    “I’m pretty sure that’s not how it goes, Seth…”
    “Oh well. We’ll see.”
    He winked at me then hurried back to his seat, since the tardy bell had rung and Mrs. Gregory was giving him death glares from behind her desk, as if he were impeding the start of class by not being at his desk.
    Once everyone was seated, and the talk had been minimized to a low buzz of kids still trying to get their before-class stories finished, Mrs. Gregory walked to the front of the room and cleared her throat.
    “Okay, everyone. Open your books to the page we left off at. We’ll be starting class with act two, scene two, or, for those of you that don’t know, the balcony scene.”
    She waved her arms dramatically; her shirt’s loose sleeves and bright colors making her resemble something like a giant monarch butterfly. She then began to scan the room with her watery blue eyes, which were enlarged by her glasses, looking for the two unlucky subjects that would play Romeo and Juliet.
    “Seth. You will play Romeo.”
    There was a visible relaxation in all of the boys in the room who had been spared for today. Seth leaned back in his seat, an easy smile on his face, watching Mrs. Gregory carefully while she scanned the room for her Juliet.
    “Aaaaand, Lucy. Will you be our Juliet?”
    I nodded my head at Mrs. Gregory then glanced over at Seth, who noticed me look, and his grin got even wider. He gave me two thumbs up and winked then turned to look at his book carefully, getting ready to recite Romeo’s rather long entry. I picked up my book, worn from years of use by my brother and myself, and opened it to the opening scenes.
    Seth cleared his throat and began to read, every now and again stumbling over an awkward phrase. He stared intently at the page, as if the written words were his life. Soon, he came to the end, and it was my turn to speak.
    “O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
    Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
    Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love…”
    I had it all memorized, and I continued to gaze at Seth, who had looked up from his book to stare back at me, his grey eyes sharp and focused on me from behind his glasses. It was as if he was trying to convey something to me but I couldn’t really be sure what.
    “Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?”
    “’Tis but thy name and that is my enemy.
    Thou art thyself…”
    By then, I’d lost my identity. I was Juliet, and Seth was Romeo. The class slowly melted away, and it was just Seth and me. I wished briefly that Seth/Romeo was Jack, but it was only a fleeting thought. This was role-playing. When I was younger, I used to pretend my life was like that of Juliet’s, or some other tragic female character. I wanted to be anyone other than myself. Especially after Dad… left us… and Jeff moved into the empty space. If I could be someone, anyone else, I’d be a girl who could fall in love and escape from reality. Maybe that’s why I loved Jack so much. Because he was my fairy tale ending.
    “I take thee at thy word.
    Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized.
    Henceforth I never will be Seth.”
    And the spell was broken. I jumped, jolted from my trance-like state, offset by the misnomer. The class, which had been enraptured by the intensity of the lines, seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, and as I glanced around at my classmates, who were all staring with awed looks at Seth or me. My eyes slowly fell back upon Seth, who blushed heavily and averted his gaze.
    “I-I meant Romeo.”
    Goose bumps began to form on my arm, and my heart was beating awkwardly. I looked up at Mrs. Gregory, who stood, mouth slightly agape, as transfixed as the class had been.
    “Continue.”
    It was such a quiet command I barely recognized the fact that she had spoken. I glanced up at Seth again, but he was staring very intently at his book. Sighing, I picked mine up and began to read the next few lines.
    We continued to read the play in this fashion, unable to obtain the intensity we had had before. I read monotonously from my book, allowing my mind to wander as I read. I thought about lunch, when I’d see my real life Romeo again. Only two more periods to go before that time. I could hardly wait.
    While Seth read, I would glance up at the clock, waiting for the minute hand to finally reach its destination and make the bell ring. Time has a way of working against you. I never seemed to have enough time to do the things I wanted, yet I had plenty of time to sit through things that bored me out of my skull.
    So it felt like an eternity had passed when the second hand finally hit the twelve one last time and the bell rang, waking the class from its trained sleepy stupor. The kids around me grabbed their stuff in haste, creating a whirlwind of noise and movement around me, while I took my time, knowing Seth would want to walk with me towards the fine arts wing.
    Sure enough, when I lifted my head from stuffing my battered copy of Romeo and Juliet into my backpack, Seth was standing over me, shifting his weight from foot to foot nervously, like he was in a rush to get to his next period, which happened to be choir.
    Of the many anomalies of life, I will never understand Seth and his innate ability to sing. One would think by the looks of him that he wouldn’t be able to carry a tune to save his life. I guess you could say the same about Ben Gibbard, but he’s proved the world wrong by making the Postal Service an addiction. Although only a freshman, Seth is in the top choir. He’s told me what it’s called about a million times. I still can’t remember it. I guess if his plan to become the next Bill Gates fails, he can always opt to be the next Caleb Kane or something.
    I grabbed my bag and shifted it to one shoulder, the sudden weight causing me to rock to the side before finally catching my balance. I momentarily cursed the weight the school burdened us with on a daily basis. In middle school it was easier to have a lighter backpack because Carlton Middle School, located to the right of Carlton High, had hallways divided up by grade level. From 6th to 8th grade all my classes were conveniently located within 30 seconds of each other, with the exception of gym. Therefore, I had more than enough time to exchange the books the forced upon us in the 5 minutes between classes.
    “What are you thinking about now?”
    I smiled guiltily as we exited our English class into the crowded hallway then took a left towards the mall area, and ultimately the fine arts hallway, which was located on the other side of the school.
    “Middle school…”
    “Oh my gosh! Do you remember Mr. Bennett? He was such a turd!”
    “Oh… I don’t think he was that bad…”
    For a moment Seth and I were separated as we passed around a crowd of obnoxious jocks high fiving and pounding a pillar to some stupid rap song they heard on the radio yesterday. Even though the mall area was huge, it was still almost impossible to get a clean shot to anywhere, thanks to people loitering in the hallway before class started.
    “Are you kidding me? Lucy, you complained about him more than me and Ellie combined!”
    I chuckled, noticing his overdramatic hand motions that almost took out a girl that walked to close and his raised voice that carried over the cacophony of the school. I knew he was trying to get me to forget the incident in English, and I was willing to let him.
    “Do you remember our science fair project?”
    “Ah, yes. Alas, poor Fluffy. He thought he was in for a treat when we fed him. Too bad he didn’t know the evil Mr. Bennett was going to feed him to his pet snake.”
    “Seth, we don’t actually know if he did that or not…”
    “Sure we do! Why else did that stupid snake look happier and fatter than usual for the next two weeks?”
    I laughed, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. Fluffy had been a feeder mouse we got from a pet store to see what kinds of food mice are more partial to. The day after we brought him in, Fluffy, fondly named by Seth, mysteriously disappeared from his cage. We all believe that Mr. Bennett fed our science project to the class snake, something he stubbornly denied as he handed us our failed grade. Although he was a jerk, and I’ll admit I did complain most of 7th grade, I’d learned to get over it, while Seth continued to tell the story of what might have happened to his poor lost feeder mouse.
    “Well, I’d love to stay and chat about loved ones lost, but it looks like Mrs. Van der Stek is in a bad mood. ‘Bye!”
    Seth waved goodbye and walked into the door guarded by a very moody looking choir teacher. It wasn’t surprising; Mrs. Van der Stek was infamous in the fine arts hallway for her scandalous marriage.
    I continued down the hallway to the end where the art room was located. Most of the class was already there, pulling art supplies out of cabinets and talking loudly over the radio Ms. White usually had playing to stimulate our artistic side. Because the school prioritized by the need of credits, art being a credit needed to graduate, the class was populated by seniors, a few juniors, two sophomores, and me, the only freshman out of thirty-odd people taking Advanced Art I this year. It really isn’t as bad as most people would assume it to be. The seniors at our school are relatively nice and leave the underclassmen alone for the most part. No swirlies or beat ups for lunch money, like the movies proclaim happen at all high schools.
    I made my way to my assigned seat, located near the teacher’s desk. It was one of those elevated tables kinda like the ones they use in the science labs except with a thinner table top. Four people could sit at each table, two on opposite sides. My table was inhabited by two seniors, one of the sophomores, and myself. The two seniors are taking the class just to get a credit and ultimately get out of high school. Same for the sophomore, although I’m fairly certain his mother is making him take it this year. In fact, I think that’s the way the entire class felt, except for me. Not that I mind. Who am I to force people to enjoy art?
    “Lucy, hey! Are you gonna draw my portrait today? Here, I’ll even give you my good side.”
    Luke, the senior sitting across from me, turned his head to the side and crossed his eyes, waggling his tongue at Jessica, the other senior, sitting next to him. She squealed and pushed him playfully and he pretended to fall out of his chair.
    “Did you see that, Lucy? She’s abusing me!”
    The one thing I learned about Luke rather quickly is that he is a major flirt. He flirts with me, Jessica, the girl across the room, the girl at the next table, even Ms. White, who finds it extremely amusing.
    The tardy bell rang and Charlie, the sophomore who sits next to me, shuffled in and slunk into his seat, where he promptly put his head down. He smelt like weed. I watched him absently for a moment, wondering if Ms. White would scold him for being tardy like she did every day, before turning my attention back to Luke and Jessica, the latter of whom was defending off a tickle attack from the other.
    “Charlie…”
    As I had suspected, Ms. White had noticed Charlie walk in late. She was sitting at her desk, her hand on the mouse of her computer, peering over her spectacles at him. Charlie lifted his head and sniffled, glancing around slowly before looking at her.
    “’Sup, Ms. White?”
    “Charlie, we go through this every day. I don’t want to have to write you up just because you’re tardy. Can you please at least try and get here on time tomorrow?”
    “Yeah. Okay.”
    Charlie held Ms. White’s gaze for a few seconds longer before finally losing interest and falling back asleep. This happened on a daily basis. Charlie comes in late, Ms. White scolds him for it, makes him promise not to do it again, Charlie says he won’t then goes back to sleep.
    “Okay, everyone. If you don’t mind, I need to grade the essays that Art History wrote. Free day. But don’t get too noisy, or I’ll give you a pop quiz.”
    Ms. White turned back to her computer, probably to check roll, as the class cheered silently. I opened my backpack and began to look for my art class sketch pad.
    Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Charlie staring at me intently, his green eyes blood shot and it looked like it was taking all the effort he could muster to keep them open.
    “You’re dating that Jack guy, right?”
    “Um… yeah?”
    I didn’t mean to hesitate. After all, wasn’t I dating Jack? Charlie nodded his head pensively before pudding it back on his desk, his eyes closed before it even made contact. For a second, the leaden feeling hit my stomach again. I pushed it back. No. Charlie was only asking a harmless question. Nothing more. I took my sketch pad out of my backpack and flipped it to a clean page, ready to forget this moment and whatever dark potential it carried.
    “Psst. Hey, Lucy! Are you gonna draw me or what?”
    Luke was looking at me again, his baby blue eyes holding a playful seriousness in them.
    “Actually, yes. If you don’t mind.”
    He raised his eyebrows, shocked, then smiled. Luke asks me to draw pictures for him all the time. For the most part I decline, though, because I’m usually trying to perfect whatever project Ms. White has assigned us. But I finished the 3-D coke drawing that she assigned last week yesterday at home, that and I was still looking for something to do, so today, I figured I’d give it a shot.
    “Hold still.”
    I took a second to take in his features. He had a buzz cut, but you could see the blonde hair when his face turned red. Bright, baby blue eyes, big and around, giving him a mischievously innocent look. Square jaw line with slightly visible stubble. Big ears. Big nose. And a long neck. He was almost kind of comical, especially since he had a stocky build.
    I grabbed a pencil from the can of drawing utensils in the center of the desk. Looking down at my sketch pad, I tried to imagine Luke’s face on the paper. I began to draw him, starting with timid strokes but getting stronger and stronger as a form began to appear. Every now and again, I’d glance up to keep Luke’s face fresh in my mind. Next to me Charlie snored softly, and faintly I could hear the radio playing in the background of the kids in class talking to each other. It reminded me of the one other time I drew a picture of someone on request, although the scenario was very different from the one I was in now.

    “Come on, Lucy! If you don’t hurry, you won’t get to talk to him before mass!”
    It was towards the end of 8th grade, shortly after Ellie started her treatment and medicine. She was going through a phase of religious enlightenment, and for this reason, she had a sudden need to go to the church in town. She didn’t want to go alone, so for the past month or so, she’d woke me up at an ungodly hour for a Sunday, forced me into a dress, and dragged me to the bus stop to take us into town. At first, I had complained, not being an early riser, but after the first time we attended mass, I was reluctantly more willing to wake up early to go listen to the word of God.
    Ellie had read her information wrong that first time we went and we ended up at the church an hour early. Ellie wandered around, exploring as was her new nature, which I was honestly glad for, after the horrible time she’d gone through the past year and a half. I on the other hand, was slightly more timid, and, humbled by the house of God, sat awkwardly in the back of the giant auditorium, saving some seats for us.
    That’s where I first met him. His band played at the Sunday mass, and they always came early to set up. So when he saw me sitting by myself, he later told me, he thought I was an angel sent specifically for him, and he couldn’t resist coming to talk to me. I told him that was really cheesy, but secretly it makes me melt inside that he felt that way the first time he saw me. I suppose I can claim the same thing; however I didn’t see him until he sat down next to me.
    “Hey.”
    I wasn’t expecting anyone to speak to me, much less a guy. So I let out a yelp of surprise and turned around quickly to see who had spoken to me. He chuckled, setting his bass guitar on the floor between his legs. I took one look at him and blushed heavily. Even then he was beautiful, like he was the angel sent to me, not the other way around.
    “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. You just looked so lonely sitting here by yourself.”
    “I-I’m fine…”
    I blushed, realizing how rude that sounded. It wasn’t like I was trying to make him go away, I just didn’t think anyone would be here as early as we were. I cleared my throat, trying to regain my nerve.
    “I-I mean… I came here with my friend… she… I don’t…”
    I closed my mouth and stared at my shoes, realizing that I was rambling and he probably didn’t really care.
    “She’s in the bathroom?”
    “Um… yeah. I guess you could say that…”
    “Well, you guys should stick around after mass. The teens here usually socialize and hang out at the coffee shop across the street.”
    I nodded, still looking at my shoes. I don’t know why I was so embarrassed. Maybe because he had surprised me the way he did. And the fact that he was totally gorgeous.
    “Hey… what’s your name?”
    “Lucy.”
    “I’m Jack. Well, it’s nice to meet you, Lucy. Maybe I’ll see you at the coffee shop?”
    “Yeah.”
    He smiled at me then walked away. I spent the next several minutes watching him out of the corner of my eye. Maybe it was my imagination, but it as people started to fill in the seats and Ellie returned and plopped down next to me, it felt like he was watching me, too.
    We didn’t go to the coffee shop that day, mainly because I wasn’t sure if I had dreamed it up or not. However, later that week when she brought up how “that cute bass player in the band kept looking our way the entire service,” I figured I’d tell her what had happened.
    “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
    “Because I was afraid it wasn’t real…”
    “Girl, he was totally checking you out. Even if it didn’t happen, which I’m pretty sure it did, I bet he would have talked to you at that social thing anyway.”
    “Maybe.”
    “Not maybe! Oh, we are so going next week to that social. And you’ll talk to him and apologize for being such a jerk for stiffing him.”
    But that next Sunday Jack wasn’t there, some old guy playing the bass in his place. I was crushed and relieved at the same time. Had it of been just me I would have given up and gone home. However, Ellie wasn’t one to give up that easily. She made me to go the social with her and she went around trying to dig up information on who she now deemed “Mystery Bass Boy,” MBB for short. By the end of the social (which lasted two hours, according to the clock on the wall), Ellie had discovered that he’s a sophomore at Carlton High, plays the trumpet in band, he’s on the varsity football team, although he’s planning on quitting next year, he’s very smart, very funny, and all the girls love him. But most importantly, according to Ellie, he was single. Most of the girls she asked replied rather hotly, in my opinion, that Jack wasn’t really interested in girls and that they didn’t see any reason why, because he could have pretty much any girl he wanted.
    The following Sunday he was there again. Knowing Ellie, no excuse in the world would keep her from dragging me across the street and right