-
state of grace state of grace state of grace state of grace
storm overhead -
the unexpected troubles of my dream
to be delivered in the corners of my mind
darkness overhead -
don't know if i'll ever escape this mystery
full of what i didn't have and what i used to be
grace overhead -
feeling ever-present in this struggle
there are certain things that i want to be
now
there are certain things that i want to have
now
light overhead-
glimmer of hope surrounding
there are certain things i have made myself to become
now
state of grace state of grace state of grace state of grace
about as often as a texas snow
about as futile as a dream
about as wasted as we want to be
it was perfect, the way we could have been.
do you remember board games at 2 in the morning
do you remember late-night taco bell adventures
do you remember the shakespearian insults
do you remember how the vodka turned out to be water
and we were too far gone to tell?
when i got onstage that evening i meant to stare you directly in the eye
while my soul was pouring from my throat and from rusted guitar strings
but i couldn't muster it, so i looked away and my voice rang out to collapse the light into earth but it was for you.
i sat at our table today,
it was cold
but we weren't. in my dreams.
state of grace state of grace state of grace state of gr-AWAKE NOW, RED-EYED FRUSTRATIONS RIMMING MY EYES WITH HUNG-OVER BITTERNESS, ASKING MYSELF WHY I NEVER FELT MORE COMFORTABLE THAN LAYING IN YOUR BED AS YOU WATCHED TV, ASKING MYSELF WHY THE THINGS I TAKE FOR GRANTED ARE THE ONES THAT ALWAYS WALK AWAY, ASKING MYSELF WHY MY ONLY SMILES ARE IN WHISPERS OF YOUR NAME.
WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER, IT'S COLD AND I'M TRYING NOT TO STAND OUTSIDE METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING, AND ALL I REMEMBER IS YOUR WARMTH WHEN I THOUGHT I COULD BE HAPPY.
- Title: Mystery of my love
- Artist: hieispast
- Description: Ehe...Idk. =[
- Date: 12/30/2008
- Tags: mystery love
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Comments (5 Comments)
- Suicidesoldier#1 - 11/07/2009
- Shouted? 'Shouted'? It was in all capital letters. That's irrelevant to the message and therefore abhorrent syntax. That's what you should have said; and that's what this is. Nice attempt at comment, and a horrible post imo. You'll all get better though.
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- Dorian Raker - 03/18/2009
-
the line. The lines are stark enough without needing to be shouted. Your point will get across without it.
My two cents. Take it or leave it. - Report As Spam
- Dorian Raker - 03/18/2009
-
This is poetry, not non-fiction.
However, that's not a critique, is it? On to business.
Your language is rather rich and evocative, though it does so without the use of easily relatable images. This is actually rather refreshing. Through the detached sort of metaphors your create, it's easy to see the raw emotion.
However, I feel that the capitalization at the end of the piece is taking it a step over - Report As Spam
- MuffinNomNom - 01/09/2009
- Odd, I'm not much for romance, the end was a tad depressing. I hope people can learn to be be happier. Anyway, it was very expressive and insane! Everybody's crazy in this freakin' world! WoOt!
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- yellowballoons - 12/31/2008
- first comment xD well first i think your great... u express yourself with lots of passion and with great language.... AWESOME!~
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