• Memories Past
    “What doesn’t kill me…only makes me stronger.”
    - Unknown philosopher
    Ever had at time where you were proud of an obstacle you overcame? How’d you feel when you looked back and saw it in your past? It was an obstacle that you got over, another hurtle if you could say, or just another bump in the road. Whatever it may have been, it’s gone now and you’re still alive. Just like the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill me… only makes me stronger”, this quote has guided me since I entered high school.
    Everyone has at least one sad story to tell, but always in the end it worked out for the best. Mine is really not all that different. The simple fact is, is that no matter what life has thrown at me, I’ve always come out in the end brushing myself off.
    My story goes back about two years ago. Entering high school is a new, exciting, transforming experience in everyone’s life. It’s the transition from the path of young adulthood, to a young responsible adult, for which you are admired and looked up to by the younger generation. During my freshman year, I met someone who was amazing. His name was “Kolbe”. He made me feel special, like I was the only one who mattered to him. At night we would talk for hours on end, sometimes about something important, or about nothing at all. With us, there were times that we didn't need to speak, our silence said it all. So as the time passed and our friendship soon blossomed into a relationship, I thought I was in heaven. He had even promised that he would never hurt me because he didn’t ever want to see me cry.
    But it was all a false facade. Throughout that year, I was hurt so many times by him, emotionally and mentally, that I just became numb. By then everything had become my fault, if we had a fight, it was my doing, I had become accustomed to apologizing though the problem hadn't been about me. I began to shut everyone out and scars began to become etched into my skin, constant reminders that I needed to end this un-healthy relationship.
    One phone call brought me to my realization. Looking down at my caller id, I discovered it was him calling. Smiling I answered his call, just like always.
    “Ashley…”
    “Hey sweetie, what’s up?”
    “We need to talk.”
    “Ok….” My tone became sad and dull. There was no way that this was going to end well.
    “Ashley, you don’t love me. With every fight that we have, it just shows me how much that you don’t love me.”
    I stayed silent; I couldn’t think of what to say. It was one more thing that again turned out to be my fault.
    “Kolbe…..”
    “No Ashley, it’s done and over with. Goodbye.”
    “No Kolbe, it's not goodbye I’ll see you later.”
    This was my stand against him, he was no longer going to control how I felt or thought. His reign of manipulating my words was done. I said I was done. He maybe had made the move to end the relationship, but it was I who really ended it. My actions proved that. I was tired of the hurt and tears that I seemed to have spilled so often, and felt. I was tired of the isolation I felt from so many, that I was alone in my world. Enough was enough for me, so all together his number ceased in my phone, and he became nothing but a mere memory to me. Now that it had finally ended, I began to open up again to those around me, and speak the truth of how I was feeling. With the help and support from my family and friends, I was able to overcome much of the pain and hurt. Today I’m much better off; I don’t feel any hurt anymore, and the cutting has stopped, my hardest obstacle to overcome. My scars are constant reminders of what has happened. Although they are something that I wish I could erase from my mind and body, I can not. A year and a half later, I am now with an amazing guy who knows of my past and commends me for overcoming it.
    What each obstacle taught me is that no matter what life has in store for you, you will always make it out in the end. Whether you’re damaged or perfectly fine, you still made it out. And you never know, maybe, just maybe, you might have a happy ending to your story.