bloody night

• Artist: egiptionhottie111
• Description: blood
• Date: 08/27/2008
• Tags:

bloody night

it was a long time ago not i was just walking doin my thing when i heard a gun shot i started to run as i heard more and more shots all i saw was blood blood and more blood then i heard i few more gun shots and then i had a shock of pearicin pain i was shot at a few times then i started to bleed bleed and bleed and i realized im 15 and im gonna die!! s**t!!!!!!!!!! i felt weeker and weeker and then splat all my blood was drained out.. gone!!!!

next thing i new i found my self pased out and i was dreanched when i went to see wat it was it was blood not just any blood my blood and my arms and legs were hurting me like like hell was it real am i dead am i dreaming i will never know will u??

Comments

[Cottoncandyocbra3]

Quite awful. I've read better. This whole thing is a sloppy mess.

[kittykatdemon56565]

This has no point, no rhythm or rhyme. you don't use grammar or punctuation. The story plot itself was ok...but overall this was plain repulsive.

[xXsecret_artistXx]

god story, could use some better grammar and has some spelling mistakes biggrin

[softballbabe92]

good story

[Silently_Die_By_You]

wow, this is just horrible. i could barely read it without tripping up!!!! u need to learn to make it flow better
AND PUTT SOME FRIGGEN PERIODS. 2/5

[Fatal Syn]

It really has no point at all..I mean learn to write! Learn to use appropriate punctuations, and learn to work your sentences better, there are no periods, comas..ect. Your spelling is off, weeker should be weaker. There's no such word as "weeker"; capitalize.. just learn how to spell! I hate being harsh.. but if you think this is good then.. something is wrong with you.

[XxXCriss-Angel-Fan-1XxX]

EVEN THO SOME PPL SAY THAT WAS LAME NO UR AWSOME U DIDNT KILL POETRY UMADE IT BETTER YOU R AWSOME IF I COULD VOTE U WOULD GET A 5!!!!!