• How preposterous--as if I could ever hold your attention.
    How ludicrous---as if I could ever be enough for you to love.
    How laughable--as if I could ever seem beautiful to you.
    How outrageous--as if I could ever be wanted by you.

    I don't need your witticisms anymore, I can lie to myself fine without you.
    I don't want your sympathy anymore, I can feel bad about myself on my on.
    I don't need your warmth anymore, I prefer being cold anyway.
    I don't want your love anymore, I wouldn't be enough anyway.

    Love.
    How foolish of me.
    I should have seen the way you looked at me.
    Your shining green eyes reflected the need in my own.
    I was too blind to see that you were merely showing me
    What you believed that I wanted to see.
    It worked though, didn't it?

    Lust.
    How easy to see,
    It was the only emotion you ever felt truly felt for me.
    How silly of me to expect anything else from you.
    All I ever really wanted was to be close to you.
    I suppose it is my author's imagination
    that helped me feel so easily
    that helped me fall so freely
    that helped me dream so deeply.
    Thankfully you've cured me of such delusions now.

    I should I have known I would never stand a chance
    I took it as a joke when you stated that
    flirting and touching were things you liked to spread freely
    I hoped that maybe it would just be me.
    I know now that I was too naive.

    She is beautiful, I must admit.
    She writes as well,
    she must be better at it.
    How ironic,
    she wrote poetry for you too
    I can tell.
    Our diction is similar
    her audacity surpasses me
    my word choice is superior
    but I still feel inferior
    to her sheer radiance
    she's so decadent
    and I am just
    plain.

    At worst I am an unbed-able shrew
    At best I was a toy to you
    Emotions were things I longed to share
    I wanted to feel you everywhere
    Wanted
    Wished
    Dreamed
    Hoped
    Tried
    Seduced
    Teased
    Flirted

    Anything. Everything.
    I would have given it all.
    I just wanted to be special to you.

    Special.

    Does her laugh grate less than mine?
    Are her eyes more expressive?
    Is her figure more alluring?
    Does she not mind the lack of possession?
    Can she drop everything to be with you?
    Will she wait up all night just to talk to you?
    Are her words more intelligent or engaging?
    Is she okay with playing hooky
    or getting caught with her pants
    D
    o
    w
    n
    drops my heart
    to the pit of my stomach.
    Out flow my hopes
    and my only chance with you.
    In flows the doubt
    that plagues my every nuance.
    Flowing like water,
    my inconsistencies drown me
    in the weight of my

    incompetence.