Stuck Asleep on Memory Lane

• Artist: Deflorescere
• Description: Song/Poem--into the box writing. About lost memories. Comment, kay?
• Date: 11/25/2008
• Tags: stuck asleep memory lane memories

I've woken up to the dark night
wonderin' why i dreamed of light
icy colors streaked with blue
a note on paper ripped in two

We all ask but we don't see
See the lies now why don't we?
Asking what it used to mean
the picture there always unseen.

Cold wars and
Closed doors, there's
no way to feel the sweet peace.
Cold feet that
we all keep, there's
nothing here for we-e-eak.

I've woken up in the dead of night,
the moon is gone and there's no light,
i try to see as the memories flee
but somethings wrong
with the right about me

I throw the picture and it cracks,
everything was not meant to last:
the glassy picture is broken how
we're broken into each little vow-------

I woke up and it was right--
icy dreams on an icy night--
i can see now that they are gone
the memory awakes at dawn.

Cold ice that
chills me
at the top of the swing,
I look but
it's not the-re,
And i know that
it's fair.

i wake up and it is bright,
everything pristine-ly white.
it all shows who i was then,
hiding behind stories aga-ain.

Comments

[Salornix]

That's really good! A few pointers though:
Capitalize the first word of every line because it makes it more appealing
Try and make a broader vocabulary because the repetition of the words icy and broken got to become a bit annoying

[xox_Cherry_Babe_xox]

Its really gd i really like it keep writng.
Its real.

[azngirlyforlife]

it's too long
i stopped reading after the 3rd stanza
make a shorter one
but it was good
eh

[game roy8]

i like it, this is your own work yeah? sounds like it COULD be a song, but i like it as a poem.