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Elements make this world go 'round.
You may not see them for they make no sound.
Water is one it's beauty devine,
but beware of it's temper it's not alway calm and fine.
Air brings us breezes on a warm summer's day,
but it also brings weather that makes us all prey.
Earth is what gives our home and it's life,
although it starts earthquakes that hurt like a knife.
Fire burns with a luminous light,
but keeping in sucrue is one fierce fight.
Light shines brightest, look and behold
if we didn't have this we would freeze and be cold.
There are many more elements. I know this is true,
but the most important you allready knew.
That element is love which has no end.
It never breaks, never bends.
The elements are strong like I'v told above,
but the most powerful element of all will always be sweet love.
- by xX-CUPPICAKE-Xx |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 03/20/2009 |
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- Title: The elements
- Artist: xX-CUPPICAKE-Xx
- Description: I know there may be spelling and grammer errors but I'll try my best and I really hope you like it. And I do know some elements are left out. ^^
- Date: 03/20/2009
- Tags: elements
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Atlantiseal - 03/22/2009
- love it
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- rocko11091 - 03/22/2009
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very nice poem...i like it...you might want to clean it up a bit from the point of spelling....but down to business...
Flows well, but could use some stylistic changes to clean up the flow a bit, nice use of imagery, try using a few metaphors and similies to add to the poetic nature
Concept: 5/5 (amazing)
Style: 3/5 (work it a bit)
Flow: 4/5 (stylistic changes will better it)
Fig. lang./Imagery: 3/5 (good imagery, little Fig. lang.)
Overall: 3.75 (4)
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