• What do you do when there's no way to turn,

    when the paths you choose are not by your own choice?

    You're trying to place the pieces together to make your escape but now,

    the intense light shining on you from high above,

    your caught and back to the start your sent again.

    It could never happen to me was what I thought,

    but I was quickly proven wrong.

    IT did happen to me.

    The urge to scream,

    to cry,

    to run into the arms of my parents and confess,

    "I've screwed up. I made the BIG mistake,"

    is suddenly choked away from me.

    I don’t want my parents sympathy nor their rejection either,

    but instead I want their guidance,

    their experience that they may already have,

    but I am too late.

    I put myself into a situation that with either direction I choose I am greeted with a consequence.

    The once opened box within my throat is sealed closed with the urge of freeing my guilt trying desperately to break loose.

    The cry for help is being drowned out from its constant struggling,

    and the reality is becoming all too real;

    soon I will forever be mute.

    This regret,

    a sleep like symptom that over takes my body and emotions,

    is aging me faster and older than a teenage girl should be.

    I walk in a cold,

    dream like state throughout the day not knowing exactly what it happening right in front of my eyes.

    Friends conversing right next to me sound far off in the distant,

    and my keen eye for details slowly surrender themselves to an oncoming fog that mask the truths,

    whether they're good,

    or bad.

    Weeks end up seeming like only days,

    and by the time I pull through,

    when I resurface from this intoxicating feeling,

    months may have already passed me by.

    This feeling of panic,

    this feeling of dread,

    can over take anyone and have no end.