• I wanted to hold your hand while we were at the movies today
    But I couldn’t see in the dark, and I missed your hand and grabbed the seat instead.

    I wanted to hold your hand while we went on a walk today
    But I was too distracted by the pretty sunset and I forgot to even try.

    I wanted to hold your hand while you kissed me today
    But…hell, it was my first kiss—I didn’t feel like I needed to.

    I wanted to hold your hand while you asked me to marry you today
    But my hand was busily being weighed down by that ring.

    I wanted to hold your hand while you and I said “I do” today
    But I was afraid that that would break the connection in our eyes.

    I wanted to hold your hand while I told you that I was pregnant today
    But your hands were on my stomach, trying to feel for something that wasn’t quite there yet.

    I wanted to hold your hand while the doctor said we lost the baby today
    But all that I could do was claw at the bed sheets and cry and cry.

    I wanted to hold your hand while I said I wasn’t happy today
    But I really didn’t. It was your fault that I was unhappy.

    I wanted to hold your hand while they diagnosed you today
    But I felt too bad—I couldn’t help but feel responsible for everything.

    I finally held your hand while you passed away today
    But I regretted it.

    Because I let go too soon.