• I sit at night and my mind wonders... I think of the possible future, then shutter with all that could shatter it... I list them in my head and then try to get away from it... I like the look of the future, and I will do all in my power to make it so... I could not bare to lose him therefore I shall not... I would sooner suffer a slow painful death then have him leave me... I sit in the night and cry silently as the horribe thoughts comsume me... The pain is worse then the pain I once released with my blade... I fight to change my thoughts to those that are happy... I try thinking of him and all the times he said 'I love you' to me... I still cry a bit from the painfulness of the former thoughts... I close my eyes and dark turns darker... My tears stain my cheeks as I cry and smile softly as I fall to sleep... And that is how my night begin and end.... Deep into the night.... Haveing dreamless sleep and waking late in the day forgetting the pains of the night, and into the new day...And on comeing nightfall.....