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As I lay on my hammock, looking up into the darkness of my celling, my tears stream down my face. "Why do I feel this way?" I wonder, as I lay there alone in the darkness. Having recently quit, one of my favorite guilds, I've been getting lots of letters, saying I should come back, and that they miss me. Now, I can't help but feel....bad about leaving them. But as I lay there, I remember Sushi, and how he said I'd regret leaving. "I will prove him wrong...."I thought to myself stubbornly. "They want me to feel this way, so I'd come back. But they don't need me. I'm never any help anyways..... I'm always in the way, they don't need me....." I whispered to myself quietly. Though the tears stayed, and wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried. I looked up to the darkness, and sighed. I was all alone, in my tree house. Which was my real, off duty home. "I'm going mad....." I muttered, as I continued looking up at the celling. The feeling I get, when something bad was going to happen, or something was very wrong, was back. That just scared the hell out of me. "I'm not going back, not after the people I looked up to, and respected dearly, did what they did. I just really, can't believe it......" I muttered, more tears falling from my face, and onto the hammock I was laying on.
"The guilt card, is what I'm getting.....it's tearing me to pieces. I'm to nice, and their making me feel.... like I betrayed them..... I hate this......" I mutter, tears still streaming from my face. "I have my own guild, and other guilds, I don't need them, and they don't need me. I don't even know why anyone bothers with me, I'm just useless....." I tell myself quietly, still looking up into the darkness as I doze off to sleep.
 x-l J i n x l-x · Mon Jul 16, 2007 @ 03:35am · 0 Comments |
