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“For the last time, I’m not hungry,” said Raye.
“He said to eat something,” said Naro.
“But I’m not hungry.”
“I don’t care, eat!”
“But-.”
“I’m not going to argue with you.”
“Good.” Naro took her spoon, filled it with rice and shoved into her mouth. He quickly pulled it out, empting it in her mouth and he slapped his hand over her mouth.
“I’m also not about to let you starve yourself to death, so swallow.” Raye forced herself to swallow the rice in her mouth.
“You nut case!”
“Very good, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“You’re insane, I could have chocked!”
“You’re welcome.” He smiled at her.
“Well, I’ve eaten now.”
“Oh no,” said Naro, “You’re going to finish this entire bowl.”
“What!”
“I will force feed it to you if I have to.”
“You might have to.”
“Fine.” He held up the spoon like it was a weapon.
“Fine,” said Raye and he did feed her himself. He forced every grain of rice of into her mouth. Near the end Raye gave up and just opened her mouth to her.
“You act like it was horrible,” said Naro.
“Maybe it was.”
“Don’t say that, that’s cruel.”
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“I doubt that, you’re always hungry.”
“I was -.”
“He said you had to eat something.”
“He also said I should sleep.”
“Are you tired?”
“Maybe, are you?” He looked at her.
“Personally, I’m exhausted.” He laid back on her bed. He reached up and grabbed her arm. He pulled her on top of him.
“Naro?” asked Raye as he threw the covers over them.
“I hope you don’t mind. But I don’t feel like walking back to my tent.”
“You’re an idiot,” said Raye as she relaxed in his embrace, “An absolute moron.”
“Oh?”
“Thank you.” She closed her eyes and put her head on his chest so that she could hear his heartbeat. Just like last night, she woke up every twenty minutes or so. And every time Naro just pulled her back down. He ran his fingers through her hair and eventually he learned that talking helped. So he would talk, about anything. He talked a lot about his family. His father had been a Sergeant in the war a long time ago. He’d returned to Naro’s village, Arela, after he’d been injured. There he had met Sala, Naro’s mother, and they had three kids. Naro had a younger sister, Catina, and a younger brother Noten. They were apparently quite a handful. He missed them very much.
In the morning they walked to Hinaka’s Tent. The sun was still rising as they stood outside. Raye was shaking. She didn’t know what was going to happen to her and she had a feeling that she wasn’t ready for it. She took a deep breath and stepped forward. Naro yanked her back and wouldn’t let go of her hand.
“Don’t go,” begged Naro.
“I have to,” said Raye.
“Let me go with you.”
“No, where I’m going, you can’t follow.” She put her free hand on his shoulder and looked until his eyes until he let go.
“You better come back.”
“I will, don’t worry.”
“I always worry.” She walked into the tent alone. Naro stood there, he couldn’t leave and he couldn’t go in. Huja walked up to him but didn’t say anything Jaserard, Dagus and Fetnal walked pass them. A few minutes later Raye screamed. Naro tried to rush in but they sent him away.
What was happening to Raye was more painful than she had expected. They sat had sat her down in front of a desk. On the desk there were many sheets of paper and colored pencils. They’d explained her job before hand.
“You’re going to have to draw him for us,” said Hinaka.
“But I’m not sure what he looks like.”
“Did you not see him?”
“I don’t know, I think so, but that part’s a little fuzzy.”
“Understandable,” said Fetnal, “Your mind is trying to protect you from it. General, I think you should reconsider before it’s too late, the poor boy can’t handle it.”
“I can hear you!”
“Right.”
“And I can do it. In a way, I sort of already have.”
“That’s a very good,” said Hinaka.
“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to remember.”
“I might have a way,” said Hinaka and she looked at him. He gestured to Dagus who held out a syringe.
“What-?”
“This is going to help you remember.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m sorry,” said Dagus. He shoved the needle into the back of her neck. She screamed and Naro tired to get in. Jaserard sent him away with Huja.
“Draw,” ordered Hinaka to the dazed Raye. She stared at nothing for a moment and picked up a pen. She drew quickly, in fact it was unrealistically fast. It was maybe due to the fact that she could probably sense how this new found clarity wasn’t going to last very long. It lasted about an hour and the next thing she knew she was laying on the ground. She was covered in sweat and she was in physical pain. She tried to figure out what had happened to her. They’d been talking and then the needle. One minute she’d been in Hinaka’s tent then she’d been back at the massacre. It was clear and confusing. It had been all out of order. That made it so much worse. She moaned and opened her eyes.
“Ow,” said Raye. It was all there was to say. She felt horrible, the hole thing had been horrible. The experience was surreal.
“You did very well for your first time,” said Hinaka.
“What?” asked Raye as she blinked repeatedly. The room around her was spinning.
“Take a look.” She looked around her. She must have sent papers flying everywhere. She’d done quite a lot of drawing apparently. She rushed out and vomited when she saw the horrific images of the massacre that she’d put down on those sheets of paper. She nearly collapsed.
“That’s the aftereffect of the drug we gave you,” said Dagus.
“Drug -?” She vomited before she could finish the question.
“Someone get his friends,” said Fetnal.
“We’re here,” said Huja. Naro helped her up and she looked at Huja.
“Maverio?” asked Raye in a daze.
“I’m Huja, remember.”
“Right.” She fell over into Naro.
“Do you want to take a nap?”
“Fine.” She looked so heartbroken and Naro couldn’t do anything but help her into bed again. The worst part was that she probably didn’t even know what was going on. She sat up in her bed and wouldn’t talk. She wouldn’t even eat, until once again Naro force fed her dinner to her. She was almost a mindless zombie.
“You know maybe it would help, if you talked about it.”
“No.” Naro looked at her, at least she was speaking.
“You have to deal with all of this somehow. You can’t keep all of this bottled up. I don’t know. Do you want to cry?”
“No.”
“Because it’s okay to cry, you know? It’s just grieving.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t…know how.”
“What do you mean? You don’t know how?”
“I don’t remember how to cry. I’ve forgotten.”
“How do you forget something like that?”
“I just did. I have no more tears left.” Naro looked at her pitiful face and his heart was devastated. He wanted nothing more than to find a way to comfort her but there was nothing that he could do. He just pulled her onto his lap.
“It’s okay, I’m sorry. It’s just-.”
“I understand.”
“I’m sorry that it happened to you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Then who’s fault is it?”
“Mine.”
“What! No, you can’t think that!”
“How much do you know about the politics of Shano?”
“It’s in the feudal system like everyone else, ruled by a Lord. Only it’s gotten so big it has two Lords if I remember correctly.”
“Precisely. The two Feudal Lords were the heads of the Shano’s two clans: The Hinakas and the Tanis.”
“So?”
“My Grandfather was the head of the family, he was Head of the Tani Clan, I mean. He led all of us.”
“And therefore he led Shano as well.”
“Until he died.”
“At the massacre.”
“No. He died a few weeks before and his heir was coronated at the Head of the Clan. That heir was me.”
“You?”
“I was the only child of his eldest son, and therefore the first in line. My uncle had died before him so only my cousin Maverio and I were the only heirs. But they had banished my father from the Clan for marrying my mother and so Maverio was supposed to be the first in line. But the idiot he strongly refused to be the head of the family and so they came to me. And I took over. A month later everyone was dead.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I could have been there.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I wish I could have protected you.”
“I know and that hurts.”
“But it wasn’t your fault.”
“You don’t get it.”
“Okay, explain it to me.”
“You can never know what it was like. I can’t explain it.”
“Okay. Hey, wait a minute!”
“What?”
“Doesn’t that make you a Lord of Shano.”
“Oh.”
“What? You’re a noble?”
“In a way.”
“Oh my god,” said Naro and he laughed.
“Stop laughing.”
“I am at your command my Lord.”
“Stop it.”
“Yes, my Lord.”
“Seriously, Naro, stop it.”
“Certainly, Master Tani.”
“Naro! I SAID stop it!!” yelled Raye.
“Sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. It’s just I always hated the noble thing and the titles.”
“It’s okay. I get it.” She turned around and looked right at him.
“Although, if you insist on calling me ‘Master Tani’ you’ll have to follow all of my commands,” said Raye and she poked him in the chest.
“Oh?” He smiled. She was talking and she was putting emotion behind her words. That hadn’t happened since this all started, not happiness like this.
“Do you think you can handle that?”
“Yes, my Lord, what is you command Master?”
“For now, more rest I think.” He titled his head back in angst. She could have said anything and he would have done it. And she had requested sleep.
“Dagus said the drug might make you drowsy.” She closed her eyes. Naro was right, she was very sleepy. She had a nightmare fifteen minutes later and she was wide awake. She was still sitting up, she had fallen asleep in Naro’s lap. He hadn’t fallen asleep because it was still late in the afternoon.
“Paper, pencil,” said Raye and Naro obediently grabbed them off her desk. She started drawing with a fury and Naro glanced down at the paper when she was done. It was a wing.
“What’s that?” asked Naro.
“Darak’s wing.”
“Oh dear god.” Naro took two steps back. It was like he thought it was cursed.
“I need to get this to Hinaka as fast as possible.”
“We’ll stop there on the way to the mess tent.”
“Mess tent!!”
“You need food.”
“But I won’t eat anything.”
“Whatever, just get on my back.”
“What?” He turned his back to her.
“Just climb on, I’m going to carry you.”
“But-.”
“It’s faster, just get on.”
“But-.”
“Get on.” She scowled at him with no effect because he couldn’t see her.
“Fine.”
“Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and he hoisted her up. He walked out of the tent, taking special care not to hit her head on anything. It was hard for him to act like a tough guy for her when there was something so absolutely adorable clinging to his back. He looked at her feet. She always wore these toeless sandals whenever she didn’t have to go on a mission. She had such very cute toes. They handed over the new drawling. Naro unfortunately glimpsed inside the folder where Hinaka kept the others. He instantly wished he hadn’t. Mostly they were red and he knew why. He left and walked past the mess tent.
“Hey, weren’t we-?”
“You know, I’m not so hungry anymore.” In a way he’d sort of gotten it. It wasn’t that she wasn’t hungry, it was that she didn’t want to be around others. She wanted to be alone and she knew that if she was she would fall completely to pieces. She needed him and she needed to just be alone with him.
“Okay.”
“Let’s go for a walk.”
“Will I be doing any walking on this walk?”
“Nope.”
“I can walk.”
“I know. But why don’t you just relax?”
“Relax how?”
“Even I can feel that you’re tense.”
“I wouldn’t say I was tense, just-.”
“It doesn’t matter. Let’s head towards the river.”
“Okay.” He shifted her weight up and started off.
“Kuto?” asked Naro after long moments of silence.
“Yeah?”
“Um -.” He wanted to ask so many things. He couldn’t help it. He was in love with someone who kept so many secrets and he just wanted to know everything about her. There was one thing he wanted to know more than anything else.
“You want to know about Darak?”
“Yes, but you don’t have to tell me.”
“It’s okay. I want to, in a way. If I keep doing this it’ll tear me up inside.”
“If you keep doing what?”
“Keeping so many secrets.”
“Oh. So?”
“Darak called me his Beloved then punished me when I refused to become his slave. And he doesn’t even know my name. He’s never met me, he doesn’t even know what I look like. And he says that he loves me.”
“Oh?”
“I can’t imagine why he thinks that. Why would anyone love me?”
“I can think of a million reasons.”
“I’m not so sure about that. Growing up in Shano wasn’t easy. The village was led by two demon clans but all of the villagers had a strong sense of hatred of all things demonic. And both demon clans hated anything remotely human. I’m half demon and half human. They called me a ‘thing’ not worth anything.”
“You’re worth something.”
“I guess.”
“You’re worth everything to me.”
“I am?”
“Of course you are. You’re more important than you’ll ever know.”
“I am?” She stretched up and looked down at him. He looked up at her.
“Oh, most definitely yes.” They walked into a clearing and he turned around.
“Sometimes all someone wants is to have someone to talk to, to tell things to. But it was hard after that, to trust anyone.”
“I really just wish I could’ve protected you from all of that.”
“It’s lovely here.”
“Yes it is.”
“I’m not to heavy am I?”
“If anything you’re too light.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. But just look at this place.”
“You’re right, I like it here.”
“I’m glad. You know some of the others say that if you climb up high enough on one of these trees you can see all the way to Shano.”
“You’d only be able to see the tallest building and some of the outskirts.”
“And the tallest building would be?”
“The Tani Mansion, it rises high above everything else.”
“What about the Hinaka Mansion?”
“It doesn’t even come close. The Tanis were always richer. The estate was huge, we all lived in an enclosed environment but the Hinakas lived scattered around Shano. In fact some of them don’t even live Shano. I wished I’d had that kind of freedom.”
“You weren’t free?”
“Not really. I was different than all the other Tanis. I didn’t grow up in the estate. I grew up in the house with my father. When he died-.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“What?”
“I swear it’s nothing.”
“Your father is Gasku isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“So Raye Tani is, your sister?”
“She’s an orphan.”
“Huh?”
“She has no name so when I took the Manto name I gave her the Tani name.”
“Oh?” Had he just bought that? It didn’t make any sense. She couldn’t even believe that she’d come up with such a strange lie.
“So?”
“So where’d you live after your father faked his death?”
“I don’t want you to think about me in that way.”
“In what way?” He was getting nervous.
“I didn’t have anywhere to go.”
“So you moved in with the Tanis? That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“That’s not it. I really didn’t have anywhere to go.”
“So?”
“I lived in a cardboard box in ally.”
“You were-?”
“Homeless.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. Those were the days when I was free.”
“They took your freedom?”
“It didn’t seem like it until much later. I just wanted a family.”
“That’s not so bad.”
“I don’t know about that. I was greedy and now they’re dead.”
“For the last time you can’t blame yourself. It was Darak’s fault.”
“But Darak loves me.”
“Well - damn, this is so complicated.”
“You don’t know the half of it.” He knew that he didn’t.
“I don’t want you to keep working with Hinaka.”
“Huh?”
“It’s too much to ask for.”
“I can do it.”
“I’m not saying that you can’t, it’s just that I don’t want you to.”
“I don’t either.”
“Then why do it at all?”
“There’s something still buried in my mind and I won’t any closer until I dig it up.”
“What is it?”
“I still don’t know how I survived.”
“Oh, do you want to talk about it?”
“No, not yet, it’s still too fresh.”
“That’s fine.”
“I hate all of this.” She yawned.
“Are you tired? Do you want to sit down?”
“Like that. I hate being so weak.” He set her down by a tree.
“It’s fine. But can I ask why are you so weak?”
“I’m using all of my energy to push away the worst parts.”
“I see.” It was impossible. He couldn’t bear watching her in such horrible agony. He sat down in front of her and she looked away.
“Sometimes I wonder,” said Raye.
“What about?”
“Why me?”
“Huh?”
“I don’t want to sound egocentric but why did all of this have to happen to me? Why’d he kill my family? Why he did spare me? Why am I alive? Why does he love me?”
“I don’t know and no one can. Because why are any of us alive? All I know is that I’m glad we both are and I’m glad that we’re here together.”
“Really?”
“There’s nowhere else I would rather be than here and there is no one else I would rather be here with than you.”
“Thanks.” She looked up at the sky. A soft wind blew through the area and tossed her hair about. It looked like she was on the verge of tears again. He thought if only the tears would come then she might be able to start to let go.
“Come here.”
“What?”
“Just come here.” He opened his arms, leaned forward and grabbed her. He pulled her in close to him and she grabbed the back of his shirt as hard as she could. She had to control herself. But it was hard. She wanted to give into the feelings. He was so warm and his scent was so sweet. His heart was pounding nearly as fast as hers was and his chest was rising rhythmical as he breathed deeply. Everything felt right, for the first time since this had all started. It was so hard not to give in.
“Naro-.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m -,” started Raye and she felt some stabbing pains in her neck, “Ow, ow!” The pain increased.
“Kuto? What’s wrong?”
“Damn.” She grabbed her neck and passed out.
When she woke up she was in the infirmary, again. It was empty for about a second. Three cloaked figures just materialized in the room. Raye threw herself out of her bed at the sight of them.
“Finally,” said one of them.
“Who the hell are you?” asked Raye and they threw back their hoods back, “Crap.” She bowed down on the ground. It was more like she was genuflecting than bowing. She had one knee on the ground and a hand over her heart. She did it because standing before her were the Great Magi. Two men and a woman all dressed in golden robes. One man was older and had salt and pepper hair and a full beard with a mustache. He had deep, dark green eyes and a very face that looked like it had been chiseled out of a very angry rock. The other man was much younger. He had spiky auburn hair with bright red streaks. His face was younger and cheerful compared to his companion. His hair was longer too and it was in a braid tucked under his robe. He had bright red eyes that protruded from his soft features. The woman had an angelic appearance. Her skin was like fine porcelain. Her hair was flowing black silk that curled around her neck and ears. Her lips were thin and dark yet curled into a small smile. Her eyes weren’t black but rather more like the color of a raven’s wings. Raye wouldn’t look at them, she always got the feeling that they could see right through her.
“I see that you remember us,” said the old man, he was called the Master Magi.
“Yes,” said Raye.
“You broke our spell?” asked the woman, she was the Mistress Magi.
“No, not me.”
“Then who?” asked the young man, he was a plain Magi.
“It was Darak.”
“How?” asked Master Magi.
“The Talen Sai Fasu.”
“I see,” said Mistress Magi, “You poor thing.”
“Do you want us to put the spell back on?” asked Magi.
“No.”
“What?” asked Master Magi.
“Don’t get me wrong, I hate the memories, I can’t stand having them. But they need them, I can use my pain for good.”
“You’re very brave,” said Mistress Magi.
“Besides it was a one time spell and we all know that, which makes me wonder why the hell you’re here.”
“Last time we met we told you that you had something important that you’re meant to do,” said Master Magi.
“Is that why I’m here?”
“In a way but not for the reason you think,” said Mistress Magi.
“Huh?”
“You’ll see,” said Magi, “But it’s pretty-.”
“We cannot tell you,” said Master Magi, “And we cannot let you risk it.”
“What?” asked Raye, “Wait, you’re not saying-.”
“I’m sorry,” said Mistress Magi.
“No! You’re saying that - that you won’t let me tell Naro the truth?”
“That’s right,” said Master Magi.
“NO! I love him! I can’t lie to him anymore, I won’t!”
“You have to!” said Magi.
“You cannot risk your life,” said Master Magi.
“I trust him.”
“We don’t,” said Mistress Magi.
“But-.”
“No arguments,” said Magi and she stood up, “Show your respect!”
“Why you-?” She grabbed Magi by the collar of his robe.
“Let go of him,” said Mistress Magi. Master Magi snapped and they disappeared.
“HEY! Come back!”
“Kuto?” asked someone. She turned around, Naro had just entered the tent and he was he staring at her like she completely mental.
“Naro, um, there was-.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, stop looking at me that way.”
“Kuto?”
“I’m not crazy.”
“Okay.” He was being careful, he thought she was insane.
“I - ow.” She grabbed her neck, the Magis were serious, that was just a warning.
“Kuto!” He rushed forward but she held a hand at her.
“Stop!” He did but only out of shock, not because he wanted to. Raye was acting like she had lost her sanity.
“Okay, I’ll go get someone.”
“Dagus.”
“What?”
“Get Dagus, damn it.”
“Okay.” Naro backed away cautiously and Dagus came in a minute later.
“Lady Tani?” asked Dagus.
“Call me Raye.”
“What’s going on?”
“The Magis paid me a visit.”
“What? Here?” He looked around frantically.
“They’re gone now. Damn them!” She walked around angrily, occasionally falling into something as she lost her balance.
“Lady- Raye, sit down.” He steered her toward as stool.
“Naro must think I’m crazy.”
“Can I ask why?”
“I was yelling at them and they disappeared when he came in so it-.”
“Looked like you were yelling at nothing.”
“EXACTLY! Damn it!”
“Why not just explain it to him?”
“You know the laws! As a demon, I can’t reveal any information about the Magi to a mortal unless they already know it. It’s a stupid law if you ask me.”
“Naro knows.”
“Huh?”
“He already knows about the Magi.”
“Oh great.”
“Well at least now you can tell him the truth.”
“Not all of it.”
“Huh?”
“They actually forbade me from telling him who I really am.”
“Oh?”
“I can’t keep lying to him, I-.”
“Love him?”
“I think so. Is it that obvious?”
“To everyone but him.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“You’ll have to push all those emotions down, lock them away. Try to stop.”
“Don’t you think I have? I can’t.”
“Stop acting on them.”
“First I have to convince him that I’m not a complete psychopath who goes around talking to herself, or himself.” She walked out and only fell over twice in the process. She felt that was an achievement. She stumbled into her tent.
“Kuto,” said Naro and he shot up. He’d been sitting down next to her bed.
“I’m okay,” said Raye as she straightened herself up, “I’m getting better at this.”
“Walking?”
“Yeah.”
“But are you okay?”
“I’m fine. About earlier-.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, I was talking to the Magi.”
“The Great Demonic Magi?”
“Yeah.”
“They were there?”
“Yeah.”
“Why not just tell me that?”
“It’s against the law for a demon to speak of them to someone who doesn’t know of them. Dumbest law I’ve ever heard.”
“Why were they here? Did they put the memory spell back on?”
“No, they can’t.”
“Then why-?”
“They - ow. DAMN IT!”
“Kuto?”
“I’m fine, they won’t let me tell you.” She started shaking in his arms. She wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to tell him so badly. It wasn’t fair. She figured they wanted her to give Hinaka that picture of Darak. So she would give it to him.
She kept working with Hinaka, Fetnal, Jaserard and Dagus. Each time it got harder on her. The drug was taking it’s toll on her body. One day, after working for over a month she stood in her tent yelling at Naro.
“It’s not fair! I should be able to do this!” yelled Raye.
“It’s okay.”
“No it’s not.”
“You’re frustrated,” said Naro.
“Of course I’m frustrated,” said Raye, “They keep trying to force me to draw a picture of Darak. I’m the closest thing to an eye-witness in all of Gaselu. And the best thing I can do are these demented drawings that my messed up mind can spew out. I’m trying I really am, but this is all I can get from the fragments of memory that pop inside my head. I try to look at the face, but I can’t. And I don’t want to. That picture is the best I can do.” The pictures of Darak where the only ones she’d show him. It was all the information he got about the massacre, it was all he wanted. The pictures she drew of the dead bodies and the attacks, she kept locked up. There were times when he wanted to know, but he didn’t want to see that. But the ones of Darak were barely of anything, just shadowy figures. There were just some places a mind wouldn’t go. She wanted to be helpful but if they pushed her any farther she might not be able to come back.
“Maybe you should take a break.”
“No.”
“Come on.”
“But I’m close.”
“Really?”
“I must be. I can’t get any farther away.”
“Oh?”
“Damn it, I just wish it was over with so I can-.”
“So you can - what?”
“So I can tell you the truth,” thought Raye, she couldn’t say it out loud. The Magi wouldn’t let her.
“Kuto?”
“Never mind.”
“Do you want to go for a walk?”
“I want to try one more time.”
“I really think you should take a break. Maybe when you come back to it, it’ll be easier to do.” He was right and she knew it. But she could never really leave it all behind. They would go for walks but it would always be there, she’d be thinking about it. Darak had become a huge wall between her and Naro. She hated it, she hated him. Darak said he loved her but those words were ruining everything.
“Okay.”
“Let’s go.” He grabbed her hand and dragged her out off the tent. She could walk on her own now. And while she was happy to be getting stronger again, she missed leaning on Naro. She’d enjoyed being in his arms. That’s part of what was frustrating her so much. If she could just get the picture of Darak out of her mind then the Magi would let her tell Naro the truth. Because as much as she wanted to be with him, she couldn’t enjoy his nearness when with every word that came out of her mouth she lied to him. He still slept in her tent. He had to protect her as much as he could.
“Where are we going?” asked Raye.
“You’ll see.” He pulled her into the woods. It was the spot he’d taken her the day she’d decided to start working with Hinaka. She nearly smiled at the sight of it and that was enough for him. She hadn’t really smiled since all of this had started. She hadn’t laughed either and everyday it seemed that she got more and more depressed rather than better. He knew it would take time for her to heal but it hurt so much. He couldn’t bare to watch her in such agony.
“Thank you,” said Raye and she laid her head on his shoulder.
“Sure thing.” He put an arm around her shoulders. She sighed deeply. She was tired but that wasn’t a surprise. She was always exhausted lately. She barely slept. She got thirty minutes at a time at most. Whenever she closed her eyes the images came. Then her work would leave her drained. The drug was having a bad effect on her. It left her feeling ill and empty. Drawing the pictures was killing her a little bit and every time she finished she had to go back over them looking for any signs of Darak. She needed clues to find him in her memories.
“It’s nice out here.”
“Yeah,” said Naro and she put a hand to her head, “Are you okay?”
“Just a headache.”
“Is it bad?”
“No.”
“Is it from the drug?”
“I don’t think so.”
“But you’re not sure?”
“I think I’m just tired.”
“Do you want to sit down? You’re still not back up to full power.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“But you just said you had a headache.”
“It’s not that bad. I’m mostly fine.”
“Mostly fine isn’t fine.”
“God, you’re worse than-.”
“Worse than?” She’d meant to say Kuto but she couldn’t do that.
“Raye, you’re worse than Raye. You’d think you were my mom.”
“What was your mom like?”
“Huh?”
“I’m mean you just told me that Gasku is your father. But you never mention your mother to me.”
“My mom?”
“Yeah, you said your father was exiled from the clan for marrying her. Who was she?” asked Naro.
“I don’t know. But Grandfather must not have liked her. He married outside the Clan but he wasn’t exiled. No one ever told me why it was so bad that they got married.”
“What was she like?”
“No idea.”
“Huh?”
“She died giving birth to me. I never met her.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Dad never talked about her. She’s a mystery. I only have one picture of her.”
“Really?”
“In my locket.”
“Locket?” She pulled it out of her shirt and showed it to him.
“It doesn’t open anymore.” That wasn’t entirely true. She could open it when she was thinking of Naro and somehow the pictures had changed to be of the two of them. Some how that made it all the more special to her.
“We have to get back.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t you have another appointment with Dagus today?”
“Oh that’s right.”
“So we should leave.”
“Yeah, we should.” She took a deep breath and they left.
“I’ll see you later,” said Naro as he played with her hair slightly.
“Okay. Can you meet me here when I’m done?”
“Sure.” He walked away and she entered the tent.
“Lady Tani, you’re late,” said Dagus.
“Sorry and don’t call me Lady Tani. Naro was trying to make me feel better.”
“Oh? And how was he doing this?”
“He took me into the woods to talk.”
“What about?”
“My mom actually.”
“Oh?”
“I don’t know much about her.”
“Well considering how she died -.”
“I know, giving birth to me.
“Huh?”
“Hey, how’d you know that?”
“Huh?”
“How’d you know how my mother died?”
“Well I knew her.”
“You did?”
“Me, my brother and your parents were good friends.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, we had some good times.”
“What was she like?”
“Excuse me?”
“My mother, what was she like? Dad never talked about her.”
“Well, your mom was so full of life. A lot like you really. She had this laugh. Once she started laughing nothing could make her stop and it was contagious. Her smile was huge and what I remember most about her was that she used to sing. She loved to sing.”
“Really?”
“Yeah and she had the perfect voice for it too. Your mother loved everyone. She enjoyed nothing more than helping people. Everyone loved her, it was hard not to. She was lovely. I could tell her anything, she just made me feel safe. You’re like that too. You always know what to say.”
“I do?”
“Yeah. I swear you’re just like her. You look a lot like her too. A little green maybe.” She laughed at that.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime. If you have anymore questions about her just ask.”
“Okay.”
“So how are you feeling?”
“Fine.”
“So how are you really feeling?”
“I’ve been better.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve been worse too. The work’s harder.”
“Do you want to stop?”
“No. I think I’m close.”
“Oh?”
“How are things with Naro?”
“Okay. I hate lying to him. But they’re good.”
“Good.”
Naro and Huja were walking around. Raye was working at the moment. She always seemed to be working. Even when she wasn’t in Hinaka’s Tent. She was consumed by it. It was scary really.
“It sucks,” said Naro.
“As you have said,” said Huja.
“I hate the way he is after each session.”
“I know.”
“I wish none of this had ever happened.”
“You love him, don’t you?”
“Well, I -.”
“I never took you for being gay.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re in love with a guy.”
“Yeah, but for the most part I’m very, very straight.”
“Huh?”
“I like girls. I also happen to like this one very strange guy.”
“Oh?”
“It’s so confusing, so complicated.”
“I bet.”
“I mean it would all be easier if he was really girl.”
“Can you imagine?” They both laughed not realizing how close they actually were to the truth.
 Zegwarian310 · Tue Aug 07, 2007 @ 03:06pm · 0 Comments |
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