I'm easily discouraged yet i keep going.
I'm so far behind that i'll never catch up. how did that happen?
I cant sleep at night.
I still think of him. and it is so painful, yet i do it all the time. sometimes on purpose.
Where is my soul?
where is my common ******** sense?
Where am i?
WHERE AM I???
I dont know why i am so easily guilted, especially with tom. he's the one who ran his mouth and ended up getting 15 years in that little jail cell.
and i dont know why i get so upset, when it was me who ended it. me who ******** killed it.
killed him.
and you know it matt. you know it.
everyone ******** knows it.
but why then, does nobody wantto start remembering him again?
dont ********] PRETEND with me anymore.
I'm over it, need closure.
so where is my closure?
talk to me about it! tell stories with me, laugh with me, love his memory with me!!
its all i ask.
is it too hard?
and half of me DOESNT WANT YOU ANYMORE.
and all the while the other half is screaming for you to be mine.
but that will never happen.
its a gut feeling.
it wont last and i'm sorry.
i want it too... i really do.
so where do i go from here?
 girl-on-saturn · Fri Feb 01, 2008 @ 05:33am · 1 Comments |
