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I am SICK and TIRED of thinking these thoughts, so I'm typing them here in case I have some stalker somewhere.
In Family Life the other day, the teacher kept saying, "We are women. Women cannot do a mans job. Know your perpose in life, know where you should be, know why you are here." So basicly she is saying that girls have to be weaklings who do nothing but give men a pet and make children?! That's RIDICULUS! And ever since I walked out of that classroom I realized how much I really feel... I walk into a mall, I only want to go to GameStop or d**k Sporting Goods; I walk into Pacsun, the first things that catch my eyes are the dude clothes; I get mud on my hands, and I have the desire to get even muddier. To tell you the truth- I feel like a boy stuck in a girls body. It's probably my deepest darkest secret.
I know I'm a tomboy. But everyone around me isn't.
I hate the color pink, hate shopping for clothes/shoes/jewlry/etc., I don't even have my ears peirced, I never use a purse, wearing a dress or skirt practicly kills me, and... so much more I can't name everything, I'm wasting time. Basicly, if I have, or act, or do anything like an adverage girl, its because either 1.) it's healthy (washing my face; dieting) I don't diet, but sometimes I feel it's necisary to eat healther for a week) or 2.) It's just my way of fitting in.
I mean, I call cats cute and can talk in a baby voice, but that's just the part of me that rubbed off of one of my girly friends. If all of my friends were tomboys, then I'd see a cute cat, go up to it and say "Awww aren't you adorable" in my regular voice.
If I was forced to change genders or something, I would actually do a pretty good job being a boy; the only problem would be that I would like guys, and I'd be gay. Because seriously, I LIKE guys. I see some hot guy and I stand there thinking "dang he's hot" probably like any other girl. But different from other girls, I don't go try and flirt, I don't fix my hair, I don't try to look all cute and fabulous, I just walk away. I know every girl isn't girly, because there are people like Jessee who are 100% tomboy and they're totally serious about it, or there are emo people who are almost 100% emo and their serious about being emo and stuff, but I'm sure I'm almost the only girl in this universe that thinks I'm in love with guys so much, that I act like one. That's what Morgan told me. True or not, I took what she said seriously. She thinks I'm a freak, and that's exactly why- because to her I am a boy. She always calls me one because she says I act like one.
A positive to being ME is that 1 out of 20 girls are tomboys. 10 out of 20 are girly preps.That means in your adverage P.E. class, there's at least one major tomboy who stands out for all girls. That tomboy can be though strongest, toughest, and play the hardest. She stands out in front of everyone, and she is different. I'd like to be that person. But if I were a guy, everyone would want to be the one to stand out. A guys life is like constant competition. They keep fighting and playing hard until the end of the game when there's one winner. Girls would just play around then in the middle say that it's not nice to fight and they say they all win or something stupid. Well since I want to be the one to stand out, I'm glad to be a girl, because if I was a boy, I would just be an adverage boy. It takes a LOT to be the guy on top. It doesn't take that much to be the girl on top, since your with a lot of the preps.
Ummm.... I have a lot more to say but I want to go to sleep now.
I have a game tomorrow and I want to win. C:
I know this must be weird if you are one of my close friends reading this... But it's how I feel sometimes. That's what SEARCH does to you- make you think from a different side of the brain. C:
And I am NOT a freak.
 SpeedLimit-Infinity · Sat Apr 19, 2008 @ 08:29am · 1 Comments |
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