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Death is inevitable.

Depression can last a life time.



I swear the depression was just a stage in life.
But now I have past it.
And I still find myself greatly depressed.


A depression where my greatest love cannot cheer me up.
I fear the depression will take over me.
I -honestly- tried once. During that phase in life.
Unsuccesful, obviously.
And then I realized that the whole thing was just a phase, I got over it.

Growing up more,it haunts me.
I still get depressed.
I have, honestly, no idea what gets me this way.
I don't want to be depressed.
I cannot help it.

One minute I can be happy with the world, my life, everything. The next, I absolutely dislike it all. I wouldn't want to be alive, I'd want everything to just be over.

My mother refuses to get me help. During that "phase" I was -I will admit- idiotic enough to "cut". It is very stupid. I don't know why I even did it. But instead of helping me, my mother suggested things that would make it worse. Like, having me change schools, and taking away my music. Honestly, that woman cannot help me.

She never could.

I need help.
I want help.


I'm sick and tired of this. I want to know for sure, I can have a content attitude towards life. I don't want this feeling of need or want. Nor depression.
I want to look forward into what life has to offer.


But I can't.

Everyone I talk to thinks it's nothing. My friend's tell me it's nothing.

My "BEST" friend says I'm being stupid. Calls me "emo". Tells me to "stop being emo".

I AM NOT "EMO".



I don't think I have a problem.
It's not my fault I'm this way, it can't. I want to look forward. But I can't.
I haven't done much wrong in this life. But I feel as if I had.
I don't like this feeling.









I try my best to have a positive attitude,
but it brings me down.










I want help.
I tried to help myself.



It doesn't work.


No one cares.













No one ever bothered taking me seriously.
I've been serious towards everthing in my life.
But only a year or so ago, somehow...I realized no one ever took me seriously.







What's with the world now?








I really need help.