day 2
no appetite
shacking
unexplained fear
nausea
need to cry for no reason
the effects of the pills haven't changed
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damn those pills stare ....I hate them,they're making me act so strange......I hate this so badly but there is nothing I can do......my parents give me pills that I doubt they know that are bad for me and when they ask how they feel and I tell them half the truth they say that I'm wrong.
it's great (NOT!!!!!!!!!!)......I'm trying to hold back the feeling of wanting to cry.....I had to this morning as well and the only reason why I didn't tell kitty was 'cause I didn't want her to worry for me......'cause apparently the people who are supposed to care the most for me don't.....it's not like I don't trust her....I just don't think that I should worry her for what my parents are forcing me to do......my hands have been shacking so badly since yesterday......that it's gotten to a point that writting has become difficult.....and last time I checked,I needed to writte things.
I'm really holding back my tears right now.....but it's getting really hard......I feel horrible.....'cause I should have trusted her this morning....when she asked me if I was hiding something.....I should have said it.......but I'm afraid.....I'm afraid of the what if.....what if one of this days she gets tired of this bullshit and leaves?.....what if she thinks that I'm just to whiny?......I know that this is bullshit 'cause.....she understands me......unlike the bastards that I'm stuck with......then why am I afraid?.......can I even blame the ra forsaken pills for making me feel this way?
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...... eek deb wants me to spend the night over at her place......ahhhh......*twich*.....ok...?....let me think about this for a sec.....party+spending the night over......wow.....I'm glad she's not a guy blaugh
 yamiruri · Thu Sep 01, 2005 @ 08:03pm · 0 Comments |
