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Here's a story i'm doing. any constructive criticizm would be greatly appreciated!! 4laugh
Jules stepped out of the main office, her arms full of student transfer papers, all with “Dark Alley Senior High School” typed neatly at the top, their logo “Everyone’s equal” in small font underneath. With and exasperated sigh, Jules readjusted her black backpack over her left shoulder while balancing all the paperwork and sifted through it trying to find her class schedule and a map of the ginormous school. Finding the map, she held it between her teeth and continued to look for her schedule as she walked down the long hallway, running into someone headlong in the process. The force of the collision sent Jules stumbling backwards and her papers flying everywhere. “Great,” she grumbled as she knelt down to pick up her scattered paperwork. Klutz,” a dark, male voice scoffed as he walked past Jules down the hallway. “Yeah?” Jules snapped, “How about you watch where you’re going!” “Jerk,” she added under her breath as she grabbed the last of her papers, standing up to face a boy about her age. Faster than Jules could blink, the boy grabbed the front of her jacket, picked her off the ground, and roughly shoved her against the lockers, knocking the wind out of Jules and causing her to drop all her papers again. “Stupid human,” he snarled through barred fangs, his eyes blazing red, “You’re obviously new here, so I’ll let your act of stupidity slide, but don’t expect me to be so graceful and forgiving next time.” He released his hold and Jules’ back slid down the lockers as she landed hard on her rump. “If I were you, I’d leave this school while I have the chance,” the vampire continued before jamming his hands deep into his jacket pockets and walking down the hallway. For the second time, Jules collected her papers and decided to jam everything but the map and schedule into her black backpack. Mental note; vampires are very touchy, she thought to herself as she walked the way the vampire had come.
[img:3c77b2348d]http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f192/bloodquencher/Kingdom%20Hearts/axel.gif[/img:3c77b2348d]
[b:3c77b2348d]My future husband! Got it memorized? [/color:3c77b2348d][/b:3c77b2348d] heart
[i:3c77b2348d][b:3c77b2348d]I WILL pay gaia gold if you send me art of my avi![/color:3c77b2348d][/size:3c77b2348d][/b:3c77b2348d][/i:3c77b2348d]
Mikaryuu · Mon Jul 28, 2008 @ 05:38am · 2 Comments |
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