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alright, alright, i get it. i did say in the last entry that that would be the last or this month, but, i need gold, and journal entry's give you some. might as well try.
alright, now for, how to annoy your driver:
1. All passengers should pretend to have their own brake pedal.
2. Always grab the dashboard or doorhandle and yell "Whoa!"
3. Always tell the driver to slow down or speed up.
4. As a passenger, feel free to take your shoes off and smell up the whole car.
5. Constantly remind the driver of road conditions.
6. Every time you see a car do something that ticks you off, ask everyone in the car with you if "doggiesnot@aol.com" included it on the "How to drive like a Moron" webpage.
7. Every time you see a car pulling out, yell to the driver "Watch it!"
8. Grab the steering wheel if you feel the driver can not deal with a traffic situation.
9. If there is a mirror on the passenger side door, it's there for the passenger. Feel free to adjust it at will.
10. Make sure that you put your chewed bubble gum into the ashtray, unwrapped.
11. No matter what lane the driver is in and where you are going, always tell the driver that we would be better off in the next lane.
12. Point to the left and tell the driver to make a right.
13. Point to the right and tell the driver to make a left.
14. When at a traffic light, inform the driver the millisecond the light turns green.
15. When being picked up as a passenger, bring a messy powdered sugar donut and a large uncovered cup of coffee. Then, complain whenever the driver hits a bump in the road.
16. When directing the driver to make a left turn, tell him to make a "You-turn". When directing the driver to make right turn, tell him to make a "Me-turn".
17. When giving directions, tell the driver to turn after you pass the intersection.
18. When giving the driver directions, always mean to say one thing and tell the driver another. Then when the driver gets confused and passes a turn, yell.
19. When in the middle lane in heavy traffic, tell the driver that you really need to be in the right lane. Then when you finally cut another car off to be in the right lane, tell the driver you made a mistake and that this lane is going to end.
20. When riding with other passengers, always jump in the front passenger seat and yell "Shotgun!"
21. When traveling straight, tell the driver to get into the left lane. A lane that suddenly becomes a "left-lane-must-turn-left".
22. Whenever possible, adjust all the dashboard controls, including the radio, heat, and fan.
23. Whenever the driver parks, get out and inspect whether or not the car is properly parked within the lines.
how do you like it? good, bad, anyhow, alright, if i do say so myself.
see next time: if i don't get a lot of gold, i'll do another one. wink
 treeslounge · Tue Jul 29, 2008 @ 02:51pm · 0 Comments |
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