OK so first off I'd like to say I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday, it was a busy day. Anyways, so what happened at the wedding up until I left was this: after my mom's little self imposed breakdown, my sister, Kait, walked in the door and was freaking out because the hairdresser took too much time on her hair and Scott, her boyfriend, still needed to have a shower. Then a really funny thing happened, Kait had just got her dress back from the dry cleaners and was putting it on when all of a sudden she screamed "It looks like I have four boobs!" I'm still getting a chuckle out of that. In fact what happened was that the padding of the dress had bunched up and it looked like she actually had four boobs. Anyways, shortly after we left for the church.
We arrived at the church without so much as a mishap. Thank God. I swear every time I get into the car with my step-dad I think I'm going to die. Anyways we arrived at the church and there was Gianni and Rose, Kait's ex and her best friend, waiting for us. Then up comes a whole bunch of Italians, then Rachel and my brother, Justin. Anyways we enter the church and there's Ellen, Cheryl's friend, taking pictures of everyone who walks in. So unfortunately because I didn't have a proper date I had to have my picture taken with Rose, who is a stick figure with no soul and always manages to make me feel inept and fat and ugly. Thank god Cheryl has really fat and ugly relations. Oh by the way Cheryl isn't related to me, she kinda just joined the family over the years because she lived with us for a few years when we were all younger. Anyways soon the wedding procession started and I have to say I have never seen Nello look better in my life. My nieces were so cute I just wanted to hold them forever and never let go, because they are getting to the age when they will start to talk back and develop opinions of their own, become little terrors and sluts and be corrupted. Anyways and then Cheryl came in, she looked good. To be honest, my step-sister, Kinga, was a much lovelier bride. And without further ado the ceremony happened and it was long and boring.
So the ceremony took about an hour and a half, then we got a little rest before we had to go to the reception because, they had to go and get their photos done. Anyways so we came home for a little bit, took the dog out etc. Then we waited around for Rachel, so she could follow us. We thought we were going to be late but actually we were the first people there. Anyways we waited for about a half hour until the seating arrangements arrived. Turns out my mom and Guy were at table 5 and the rest of us were at table 12. The two tables were at opposite ends of the room. The first course of the dinner was disgusting. The was this weird meat that tasted like cow tongue, then some grey thing that made me almost vomit, cheese, green olives, some other mystery thing and red peppers. Second course was OK, they served some things that looked like elongated Ravioli. Then for the main course they had roast beef, baby potatoes, and carrots. By the time dinner was over I was pretty well drunk.
Dinner was followed by speeches, most of which I didn't hear because I was off playing with my nieces. That was followed by coffee, and that was followed by desert, by which time I was fully drunk and working on a rum and Coke. Mom wasn't too impressed that I had decided to drink, but at least I wasn't as bad as my brother. He and Gianni were both stoned out of their heads, and Justin was very drunk. Halfway through the reception the bartender cut him off. Anyways so the rest of my night was basically me trying to get a smoke and smoking a joint with Justin and Scott, then dancing. Guy caught the guarder. I came home with my mom and Guy, Kait and Scott got a cab, and I don't know what happened to Justin and Rachel. Oh and when Kait got home she puked for the rest of the night.
Anyways so that's basically a full recounting of my sisters wedding. It was a good day, it didn't rain, I didn't catch the bouquet, the groom didn't run off screaming, the mother of the bride looked like she had had Botox, I danced like a maniac, and my brother made an a** of himself like always, but it was a good day. I'm glad they finally tied the knot. It only took them fifteen years.
Anyways I'll post again tomorrow. 'Til then.
--------A
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