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Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".
One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
Now my favorite :Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.
The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a RIn ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
Chuck Norris once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower.
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.