I have been lost in my own thoughts for the past few days, a victim of my own mind games.I am trapped.
I don't know when I'll get out.
But it's bothering me a lot.
I can't think straight for too long. I'm having one of my episodes again.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm a basketcase? ********. I don't know.
I have these random depression episodes and I really don't want to be depressed. Really, I can't help it.
I hate it.
Suzu hates it. Instead of locking myself in my own room, I'm stuck on his bed cuddled up in a little ball.
That's one thing that I like about him. He tolerates my needyness. Or..whatever you want to call it. I'm very...needy. I need to be with someone. I need to be in an enclosed area. I need to be guided in public. I need someone to sleep with. I need someone to talk to. I need someone that I could listen to.
And in return, he could do what he WANTS in HIS room because it is his room, he is free to do what he wants and I won't complain because I am in there and I chose to be there.
And he gets bubble bath days were we just sit and play with rubber ducks and toys in the tub.
Because it makes us both smile.
Regardless. It has nothing to do with childhood.
It's just pretty ******** hilarious seeing a grown-ish man playing in the tub with toys.
