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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Hatred and Betrayal |
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Yeh, you read it right.
Just 'cause everyone keeps asking why I'm crappy when they ask how I am right now.
Yes, I'm still grounded, by the way. (also, beware... this is a really really long thing even for me, so if you don't feel like hearing about someones problems, don't read it..)
The evening started out great--we all met in the cafeteria so we could go to see Harry Potter, and we found out that a few friends we didn't even realize were going were going with us. When we got to the movies we decided to walk around the mall a bit, considering we were 3 hours early and the movie wouldn't start until 8, and the line was really short. We went to hot topic and the bookstore, we being me and Johnny and Rosette... and at Hot Topic I got a kuroneko wristband thing, some Gir shoelaces, and a pair of (really cool) goggles, that I just happen to still have on my head right now. (I nearly lost them in the theater though..)
The movie was great, and the wait wasn't bad.. we got great seats and were some of the first people into the theater. And there was a huge.. HUGE line, by then.
It was after the movie that it got bad.
I'd like to mention that at the mention of Davis, Rosette gets depressed, so I try my best to not talk about him around her. Doesn't always work out too well. (I'm pretty sure that somehow this ties into what happened later.. somehow. I don't know...)
No one told us that they were all going to Amanda's house afterwards to hang out.
We are the misfits. Me, Johnny, and Rosette.
We are misfits.
I feel like I fit the least, but I'm sure we all do.
Johnny was upset, Rosette was angry as hell, and I cried. I didn't cry 'cause the situation... I cried because of all the tension. I can't stand seeing my friends upset, but I don't give a damn if I myself am upset.
Lets rewind now.. I'll explain to you. Rosette won't ever hang out with anyone from our group again because she felt betrayed. Even I felt betrayed. It was horrible, I don't blame anyone, 'cause I've always been excluded... I've never been part of a group of people and I honestly am trying not to care. It doesn't seem to be working too well, though.
That's why I'm so happy when I feel like I can trust someone--I just can't feel betrayed by that.. not in the same way.
Poor Oi.. someone said something to him that hurt him..
And as for me, I just wanted them to be happy. I said I was hungry when I wasn't and I picked apart a hamburger from Whataburger that Rosette's mom bought for me, which was nice of her..
I cried when I got home.
I want to fit in.
I want to die.
I want someone here that I can cry to and they won't mind... someone that will hug me, and not have problems at the same time so I'm not confused and trying to comfort them at the same time..
Sorry, Rosette, but that's what makes it hard for me: you have your own problems, I refuse to burden you with all of mine. If you read this, take no offense to it, and please don't sulk about it, I mean nothing of it. It's just the truth, that I can't even speak to you because I'm so afraid of hurting you. Atleast this way you might not notice that I put it here.
it's hard to comfort other people at the same time you need comfort, and I love helping other people but... I hate not being able to do anything about it.
And right now i feel like I can't do squat for any one of my friend's. I doubt I helped Johnny and Rosette earlier.
Oh well.. Life sucks.
I wish I didn't have to be so upset about not having Davis around, but it suddenly hit me fully how much I really want him to be here, and yet I haven't even talked to him for a couple of days.
And it hurts.
Anyways I'm extremely sorry to have put you all through this miserable sob story, I really didn't mean to write that much stuff..
I hope if any of you read it you understand me and that I don't mean to hurt anyone, but I was deeply hurt today and I needed to relieve it, and have something to show to the people that keep asking what's wrong.
once again, I'm sorry to all of you. Thanks for listening anyways, if you even got past the first couple of sentences.
 Hoshi Okami · Sat Nov 19, 2005 @ 07:48am · 1 Comments |
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