Look.
Not going into depth here.
But I'm stupid.
And because of my utter stupidity...
Karma and the Universe have teamed up to make my life hell.
I never show how I really feel on the outside.
It's far too late for that, and let's face it
no one would understand.
Cliche as it sounds...
No one would.
That's that.
You, dear reader, have no clue as to what I'm talking about.
I don't want to share why or how I know this...
that the world is playing a cruel joke on me that is.
But it is. I never really thought it possible.
But one little decision...one little word,
one tiny lie...
can change the life of, not only you, but another person...
or many people.
Fate, the Universe, Karma, whoever controls the luck or chances in a person's life...
Whatever or whomever...
likes to shove all my poor decisions in my face,
take away something...
what will it do next?
Maybe I take every little thing that makes me happy for granted...
Actually, I suppose I do.
Hey, I'm given a MILLION CHANCES at something I desire...
or simply something that would make me happy for a while...
possibly successful...
Do I take those chances...?
No.
Maybe I think I can take that chance later...when I'm bolder,
stronger.
Too late!
You missed it!
Buh-bye!
Constantly being reminded,
mocked
for my mistake...
where I went wrong...
I don't say what I mean...
or what I want to say...
and I'm misunderstood.
I may possibly hurt someone
because I'm simply too afraid.
Why can't I just be confident and take chances for once in my freakin' life!?
I do it every freakin' time something good comes my way!
Every time.
I'm stricken...
just heart broken...
No one else has ever broken my heart but me.
Me.
It's all my fault.
Everything that goes wrong.
Any pain I feel.
Because I'm just a weak, fragile...thing.
Sure, I smile, laugh, shrug off minor problems...
But can anyone really tell what's bothering me...?
I won't even write my darkest troubles in my diary.
I don't understand it either.
Even this is a way to vent what's really eating away at my soul, deep in my heart.
The only thing that makes me weep...
....
I'm so so sorry.
 roseate-rein · Wed Oct 07, 2009 @ 04:07am · 0 Comments |
