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Ch.41 (Phoenix): Review and Renew |
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"To see the world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower.
To hold eternity in the palm of your hand,
And infinity in an hour."
-William Blake
I turned away from the book of poetry to stare out the window. If only I had eternity to devise an answer to Jareth's challenge. The year he had given me was to be over in two days and I still had nothing to tell him. It was like having a case writers' block, like the ones I had had while writing "Don Juan", only much worse.
That was another thing. In my dreams, I had discovered that my "twin", Lelouch, was re-writing the opera, my opera, which had burned with the operahouse in Paris all those years ago. 'It'll never go away, will it?' I thought, massaging my temples from imaginary pain.
My dreams over the past year had all been about the other "me", some aspect of my past, or a combonation of the previous, which was rather disturbing. Every night, I had observed Lelouch from a distance, watching him watch his mermaid love.
Sometimes, he spied on her within the darkness; he could see her, she couldn't see him, and neither of them could see me. (I don't think either of them knew that I existed yet.) Other times, he would scheme against his rival for her affections, a certain blue-haired "Raoul" who could run really fast and wield the power of the winds. The mermaid, who was turned into a human at some point by Ursula (By the stars, I still hate her for treating Jasper like that!), had taken a shine to this well-meaning youth, and Lelouch did not like that all.
Melissa, his watery love, and Mat, the "Raoul" of Lelouch's re-telling of my past, had been friends before, but ever since her previous boyfriend had left her for another woman (*scoff* He didn't deserve her anyway.), things had begun to get complicated. Lelouch had gotten it into his head that if he could not possess her, no one could, so he had spirited her away to his secret cave, which seemed to be built as a tribute to my tastes for it resembled mine almost identically. The only thing that was different was the bridal mannequin; instead of my first, only, lost love, Melissa was immortalized for all to see in Lelouch's wedding dress that he made for her.
I shook my head and sighed, looking back at the poetry book. "He truly is his father's son," I mused, "or however many generations have passed." I hadn't kept strict count of how many years I had been immortal, but I knew it was at least a hundred. 'So that would mean three or so generations, if my child managed to find a mate that would want him, or her.' That was another reason I hadn't kept count: the thought of my bloodline 'It brings back brought memories of-'
I never finished my thought because the next thing I knew, I was drifting in the Realm of Dreams. This might have been due to the thunderstorm last night (Thunder doesn't scare me, but it's a nuisance when I'm trying to get what little sleep I allow myself to get.), my ardent searching for new information finally taking it's toll on me, or just pure chance. I shall never know.
All I knew then was that I was standing in a graveyard, on top of a certain mausoleum, gazing down at the snow covered ground from my hiding place. 'She'll never see this coming,' I thought, inherent malice in my mind. Why was that? I had never seen the person down below me before, or at least I thought so, and yet I knew that I loathed her with every fibre of being.
"Wandering child, so lost, so helpless
Yearning for my guidance," I sang, unaware of my lips moving. 'Another dream about my past,' I thought, 'and yet it's not mine. Who's dream is this?'
"Angel or master,
Friend or Phantom,
Who is it there staring?" she sang back. Her voice was by no means bad, yet for some reason, it sounded to me as if it mocked the very concept of music, idly lingering on syllables that should be- Wait!
Now I knew why this young woman seemed so familiar. Only one person had called me "Master" when she was under my tutelage. "Have you forgotten your angel?" I asked, praying that she hadn't.
"Angel! Oh speak
What endless longings
Echo in this whisper?" I smiled, but it was a cruel one, as I reveled in the fact that she hadn't completely forgotten.
"Too long you've wandered in winter,
Far from my fathering gaze."
"Wildly my mind beats against you." There was a touch of fear in her voice.
"You resist." I answered. Then we sang together, our voices coming together as one. (All the people out there who know me should know how this goes, and if not, see Ch.17) While we sang, I felt as if I was "biting a bullet" to not shriek for her to stop; 'Why do you smite this graceful art with your horrible voice?', 'I wish you would cease your fruitless attempts at singing because you could never measure up to her.', and other such things ran through my thoughts until it was my turn again.
"I am your Angel of Music," I sang, gaining my confidence back. "Come to me Angel of Music."
"No!" Suddenly, Jareth appeared, quite apparently out of breath as he ran over to... "Anastasia, wait! Wait!" Of course! It had to be her. Why else would she look so familiar to me?
"Jareth, there you are," she exclaimed, turning to him with a slightly put-off look on her face. "I thought you'd abandoned me." The words were not meant for me, up in my mausoleum hiding place, but they stung as if they had been. 'I abandoned her,' I thought, a great sadness and guilt accompanying the thought.
The feelings were quickly quenched by turning back to see that Jareth had my latest former student in his arms, brushing her cheek with his hand as he reassured her. No matter who I was, or what form I was in, in Ana's dream (I knew it had to be hers because it was exquisitely detailed.), I wouldn't allow my brother to romance her like that. "Get away from her!" I shouted, pent-up anger, angst, and hatred in my voice, as I jumped down from my hiding place.
Ana pushed Jareth out of the way and drew her sword. 'This is new,' I thought. 'I didn't think she'd come prepared.' Tugging the hood of my cloak tighter around my face, I engaged her in battle. After clashing, slashing, and parrying our way around the graveyard, she had tried to run from me. Seeing an opening, I lunged at her, scoffing at the way she futily tried to disengage me as I parried her blows easily. Desparate, she thrust her sword, hard, against mine in an attempt to force them to the ground. 'Wrong move', I thought; as she fell down trying, I kicked her sword away and pinned her beneath me, straddling her torso, my own sword raised to pierce her accursed heart. (For a full description of the battle, see Ch.17)
How I could I think like this?! How could she want to fight me when I was her friend?! Why did I want to kill her so badly?! "No Erik!" Jareth shouted. (He had been watching the whole battle from a distance, just as Christine had all those years ago.) The one thing that was consistent with me and my current form was that we both despised Jareth, and we told him so, revealing my face in the process.
I turned back to Anastasia, leaned close to her face, and whispered, "I don't recall you ever having any boyfriends, Anastasia. When you voiced your affections to me, you swore that you would love me and no other." Oh, how I hated her, but the words sounded as if they had come from my own lips. (I knew that she had sworn to love me and only me the night I had revealed herself. Who or whatever this was had done their research.)
Ana stared into my eyes with her hazel orbs and said, "And I will always love you like no other. You were my first love and I could never forget you. Other men may pass through my life, but you will always have a special place in my heart." She pointed to her chest for emphasis with her good arm as I had wounded her left arm during our fight. "I would kiss you, if you would get off me."
I stood up and sheathed my sword, trying to control a strange urge to vomit at her honest words of love. "That's just it. If I kiss you now, how will I know that Jareth will not try and kiss you again?" What?! Since when had this happened?! I tried to refrain from glaring at my brother as I kept my eyes focused skeptically on her.
She stood up, grabbed her sword, and came over to me. "I swear on my word as your student that Jareth is already engaged to another."
'That doesn't make it any better,' I thought, fuming. Keeping an air of calm about me, I took note of the honesty in her eyes, backing up her statement. I would berate Jareth for this later; for now, I demanded something of her, something like a-
Oh no! Not that locket again. The locket that my mother had given me before she left me. It was still beautiful, the ruby glittering like a red diamond even though the sun was most decidedly not in Ana's dream. Without knowing my mouth was moving, I gave her an accurate description of what had happened and why my mother had left me. Whatever this was knew me inside and out, past and future, reasonably good and pure evil, almost like another part of my soul.
As she embraced me, with lovingly constricting arms, I realized just what, or rather who, I was in this dream. 'Must... resist... temptation,' I thought as I embraced her back, glad to have her in my arms and yet undisputably disgusted. And then...
I was back in the study. I had to tell Jareth about this! Luckily, he was right by my side. "Since you've had all day to finalize your answer, I assume you must have something valuable to tell me," he said.
I looked out the window. Sure enough, whereas it had been mid-morning when I had been sucked into the Realm of Dreams, the moon was now coming over the horizon. I turned back to him and smiled. "Well?" he demanded.
I replied, simply, "The "Erik" you saw in Anastasia's dream was not an illusion; it was Lelouch in disguise."
Jareth was taken aback. "How could he have known?" was written all over his face; my friendly smile changed to a sadistic one because I knew that I had solved his puzzle. My wanton half-brother stared at the floor as he humbly said, "You are free to go, but feel free to come back and visit."
"Thank you," I said, bowing to him as I went out the door, "but I don't think I shall anytime soon."
The next morning, I was a mouse again, stretching the wings of my newly rediscovered freedom. (I was never a prisoner in Jareth's castle, but the challenge made it feel as if he had bound in me chains during my time there.) Scampering here, foraging there, all the while lavishing all the smells I had almost forgotten: damp earth, wild flowers, dead leaves, and so many others. Angels above they were so good!
My whiskers twitched, bringing my awareness to a snake in the bushes behind me. I was also aware that this was no snake but a sorceress. "I know you are not a snake," I said with my thoughts. "Come out of that bush and speak to me in your true form, sorceress."
A flash of green came from behind the bushes, signifying she had changed back. Seeing it only fair, I changed back too, purple light identifying my transformation had taken place. 'He'll speak to me in his true form as well,' the sorceress thought. 'This should be interesting.'
'Indeed it will,' I thought as she came out from behind... I internally slapped myself. I had seen her before, and this time, I remembered where. This was Anastasia, albeit a little blue in her skin tone, but this was her, and she was probably mad.
 srs diva 2011 xxl · Mon Nov 30, 2009 @ 02:40am · 1 Comments |
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