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make a connection. How?
I'm totally lost.


I realized, how hard it is
to find someone you could relate too.
Here, at least.
Everyone's ******** up, equally, but in a different way.

And it is so hard to find someone who understands
and won't judge you.


Just...really. I mean, really.
Someone that isn't a total hypocrite.
Such as saying you'll be raped for being such a little gold digger,
but taking a ride home from a stranger? Yeah. That's hypocrisy right there. Doesn't help at all with your brownie points dearie.



Along with that,there is a party I may be allowed to attend on May 5. Not sure if I can :/



hurrrr another problem;;
I can never think of anyone in a "romantic" sense. The farthest I get is cute. Like, "oh isn't he cute?" And then I talk to them. And talk to them.
I can't build up that "Crush" factor or whatever the ******** you wanna call it.
the "special interest" whatever.

I do like older guys. Because even though it's pretty much the same mentality, they're more well behaved and less embarrassing.
Not to mention they're the only ones that find me cute :c
but then again they're poking fun at me. In the "elderly brother" sort of way so the ******** ? XD Like Soneda. And Lonnie.
Well Lonnie totally digs me. I mean, who wouldn't? If you take the time to know me at least :/ though it takes at least 5 years or more. Which means all of you already fail.


I'm pretty sure he knows me better then anyone else I know. Not like the "likes" and "dislikes" it's more like my views on people, life, politics and shitlikethat.
My morals/beliefs and what not.
It's good to know that at least someone is there that I can chat with :c
too bad he's so far >.>
and then comes the postal jokes about shipping each other here and there in little flat rate boxes xD

maybe I'll go out tomorrow.
I think I shall.
I should stay home and work on my costume, but, it's only in the morning. I have my room to myself so I can totally sew later on in the day. Yeah.
Maybe I'll go out :/
s**t do I have clothes?

I should go clothes shopping.
I lack the proper companionship for clothes shopping though.
No one really understands my taste. It's so hard. I'm so indecisive.
I should just grab Meiun & Lugo and go xDD


if only :c
if only those two didn't have lives like they did before. At least one day, clothes shopping. Would be nice. Just them. No one else. Because at least they understand. They'd probably laugh at my manly choice in clothes, but hey, it's okay.
It's funny.








I sometimes think, that if Jin were here, we'd be doing some kind of random Penguin dancing and painting with our toes, and drawing on each other's faces and taking photos of it and post it on Ameba.
Thats what I want in life.
Someone to sit on my bedroom floor with me, painting pictures with paint brushes between our toes, randomly dancing like Penguins, and drawing moostaches on each other's faces.

Oh,
that sounds like a Lonnie moment.



Dear...erm..God, yeah.
I think you're fabulous. I bet you're fierce. Like Juju Bee. Juju Bee is fierce. I like Juju Bee. Do you? Tatianna is gorgeous. A gorgeous gorgeous girl. But she falls back on her looks too much :c Raven is amazing too. But I like Juju Bee. Very...spunky?
Anyways, I know I have Lonnie as a friend. But I want a boy like Lonnie :/ here. With me. Next to me. We'll draw your face on our toes too. Because we like to doodle on random things. Like my notebooks. Well, I do at least. An artsy relationship was what I always wanted. Going to their loft with a set up of white paper on a room, and just throw paint here and there. Yeah. I always wanted to do that. Even if it wasn't with a boyfriend, still, a boy special to me.
I'm growing less fond of women, for some reason. I don't know. I still dig whoever is into me. Just, at a friendship level, women are just too much. They b***h, grumble, and then they won't figure out their own problems. They have trouble accepting when they are wrong. Hell, they don't even acknowledge any answer other than their own. It's really annoying. I don't like it. You're not always right. I know I'm not always right. If I'm unsure I make it clear I'm not sure if I'm even right because I can't remember that well if I even am right.
Anyways, I do like most of the girls I know. Just...a fewwwwwwwwwwwwww or maybe less or whatever. Annoy the living hell out of me. Well, must be good huh? Hell is leaving my body, or whatever.
Makes me wonder what my life would be like if Yuuki were my best friend? First of all he'd be drinking while I'm studying because of the age difference. And then I wouldn't see him very often. Although I'd be there sitting at his desk fiddling with his computer while he composes music, and writes songs. I'd be there when he starts to cry, or leave the room to get him a beer or something. And then I'll go home and get a 100% on my test the next day.
Yeah.
s**t.
I want a perfect life. Where everyone around me is happy. Kinda sick of all this bullshit and unhappiness. Shut the ******** up about the "Well sorry that not everyone can be as happy as you, Shiro."
I'm very insecure, but I still push through the day and not listen to one word of bullshit that comes out of people's mouths. Hence why women have been annoying me lately.
I deal with my problems. You deal with your own. Geebus.
Like Jeevas. Ask dot com. What ever happened to that? AskJeevas. But now it's just Ask. I hate that. I liked AskJeevas. It was one of the coolest things in 4th grade. I remember going on there to look up "Newfoundland Dogs" because our school wanted to try something else other than yahoo and google.
Yahoo Japan xD I have e-mail. on Yahoo. it's shishiro_vox@yahoo.co.jp
I think. Yeah. Something like that. Something @yahoo.co.jp I'm not sure what that something is. I think its shishiro_vo . Would've made it mememiyuu but I totally forgot that that is a lot easier for me to remember. Well, at least I use that for websites. my Gmail is for personal use xD well not quite personal. Just...more important matters.

でわ

しろ☆