Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I should invest in a journal.
One day, maybe.

A private one.
To keep.

These are just words I want to write down
so I never forget it.


Thoughts thoughts
t h o u g h t s

recently I've been thinking a lot.
It's been a very quiet "semester"
because recently I have been becoming increasingly upset with the typical teenage behavior.
I'll admit, I am silly at times
but I save it for when I'm with my friends, and not disturbing others out in public, or at school.

I wish people would gain manners and common sense.
There is a girl in my class, I cannot believe how...stupid she is.


and another thing:children(teens) become pregnant and their only reason for staying with the other is because they didn't grow up with one parent, and they want their child to grow up with both.

I didn't grow up with my parents together. Hell, we didn't even know if my dad would show up to pick me up on Saturdays or not.
But if it's best for the two to stay separated, then do it. If they are together and it causes nothing but problems, then they should not be together for the sake of raising a child in a calm environment. But you say, "Then there is only one parent present."
It is up to the other parent to be a part of their child's life. You can still be an active parent and separated from the other. Together they can take that child to the park. Or every other day the parents rotate caring for the child.
I honestly don't understand ...no, I do understand why they choose to stay together even though the relationship sucks. But what I do not understand is why they don't sit down and actually think about this kind of thing. They say that having a child, the teen parents must grow up quickly. Some claim they're already adults but they can't think about a simple solution like this.

It's ridiculous




anyways
I've realized I can definitely leave after I am able to attend college.
Sure, it may be hard adjusting to live and all,
but the only difference would be the living situation. I'm not leaving much behind here.
Sure, friendships, but they're just not that strong, you know?
We're obviously interested in different things, with not all that much in common as I may have thought.
Either way, oh this is pointless.
I'm talking to myself. I always do.
I sit alone on my bedroom floor typing away my life because I'm incapable of making it out there in the real world alone.
The only reason for that is monophobia.
I don't care if we're not even close. I can breathe if I see someone from class on a bus that I'm riding, or something.
Though I can probably ride the bus alone to the supermarket.
It isn't that far.
In fact, I have to go to the post office.
Friday I plan to go.




Unsraw is disbanding tomorrow.
Yuuki withdrew back in March.
Yuuri's lovely band will disband.
Mitsuhiko's.
Sujk's.

The only thing that can make me cry, or feel any form of emotion-other than anger- is music. Anything to deal with music.
As long as I have music.
I can walk. I can stand. I can hold my head up and look at the sky.
Then, of course, squint because the sun is so ******** bright.


The irony
is that now on TV
there is a preview to a new show
about trying to survive being a teenager.
I've lived through that bull s**t.
There was no heartbreak over the opposite sex,
there was no sex.
There were no drugs, violence, all that.

Actually, I'm still a teen.
Haha it's Maya's last year as a teen. She turned 19...happy birthday, my favorite transsexual from Osaka.
I always say transsexual to myself because I cannot believe it either.
She's so beautiful and seems so comfortable..with clothes on.
I must tell her about tucking so she can show off how amazing she'll look in a swim suit.

Because she's always talking about wanting to go to the beaches in Hawaii.


Anyways
I guess I'll bring my Rilakkuma book with me to school.
Write down whatever is in my mind just to vent, get things out.


I might have to change my personality.
Do I come off as extremely pessimistic or optimistic?



I can go to college alone.
I can...
well I can't make friends.
I'm so shy and inverted.

There seems to be a chance with someone, but to be honest
they're just too good.
I'm not sure I'll be able to handle something that great.
They're a sweet kid.
But..I don't want that. Haha.


I like things that keep me on my toes.
Alert
and attentive.
just my type.
Maybe a little monster-like.







Older.
I just like older people.