This weekend I went and visited back home.
The highlight was probably going to Second Chance Prom. Sure, it was sad remembering my prom but I had so much fun dancing and meeting all these people that were so nice that it was forgotten. I got a guy's information ;D so we can start chatting and getting to know one another.
I can tackle the weekend again in my next entry. Right now I have other things on my mind.
I have been walking through places, feeling disconnected at one point and then there in another. I thought to myself as I was walking to the bank today, that at one time there are at least two other me's. I have named a bunch of them: Sakura, Chisai... etc. They all are just parts of myself that I can't control. When those parts come up in me, I .... I can't stop them. I really can't control my desires and whims.
For instance: Sakura is the nostalgia. Chisai is the reasoning. When nostalgia overwhelms me, I think of myself as Sakura. I can't stop thinking of things from the past and won't work on anything else. It sucks up my entire world. In comparison, I can double with Chisai. I can be her but also anyone else. She is the logic of getting things done or trying to fix myself, cheer myself or otherwise. She is the planning and learning.
It is so much easier to know who I am if I break them apart... but then the trouble is.... how do you put them all together again while still keeping each of those parts? I am alternately disconnected from....
myself.
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