There’s something that everyone fears and we’ve all experience that feeling. But what most don’t know is that there is something much worst than that. That terrible feeling went beyond fear and I never, ever want to experience that ever again.
It’s a feeling that is feral, uncontrollable and it grips your very mind. Your thoughts turn dark and your imagination feeds it. In respond, your body becomes winded-up and it hurts. So badly you want to go to sleep but you can’t. You lay awake in the dark with eyes wide open. Your imagination is endless, suffocating. It’s a deep, dark pit filled with everything that scares you of whatever it is that trigger it.
And when it finally passes, it leaves you breathless and shaken. It’s a horrible feeling.
I spent four days, sleepless.
It is so very draining and I felt like someone took possession of my mind and body and pull me into a void. I'm a very level-headed and rational person but no matter how many times I've tried to keep calm I couldn't. It was like I was disconnected. A part of me knew I was fine and that I had nothing to be worried about, but it was gone. I was consumed and drowning in that darkness.
It effected me so badly that my dad had to investigate the cause of it. When it was solved, I felt relieved and ridiculous. It's incredible that such a small feeling of fear can involve into something much worst because of my imagination.
I'm not exactly sure what it was. At first I thought I was experiencing a phobia. But it was odd because normally I don't let such a little fear get to me. The best way I can describe it is like,,,fear growing so much that it turns into panic attacks.
This was trigger by hearing something scratch and rummage underneath my bed or inside my bed. I thought it was a mouse because I kept hearing an odd noise whenever I laid my head down, on the pillow to sleep. Of course, it was impossible because there hasn't been a mouse in years, let alone any critters. At first I thought it was my cat but she doesn't sleep in my room at nights.
My mother thought I was just imaging it and hearing things. But I was sure that I heard something under my bed. So my dad removed my bed and showed me evidences that there weren't any rodents there. I was relieve and was finally able to sleep on my bed instead of the sofa. But that sound happen again.
Turns out that I wasn't making up the sound, it was actually coming from my earrings. They were rubbing against the pillow making that creepy sound and ever since I've been more cautions about letting something scare me.
I wrote down that memory, that feeling when it happen. It was so powerful and frightening. I kept this saved in a document but figured it was time for me to just post it. The feeling has faded by now and it doesn't shake me up anymore. It's so surprising that something simple like that became worse. But that is the power of the imagination. It can be a beautiful, creative thing to have but also be your worst nightmare. It can invoke such strong emotions, clouding your judgement and effect your body.
 DamnBlackHeart · Mon Dec 09, 2013 @ 11:23pm · 0 Comments |
