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Since I'm in a writing mood, I'll explain what's been going on in my life.
Well, it's been a while since I wrote anything down about what's been going on, so I think I'll tell you. My life has been very hard lately. I quit my job, totalled my car, a good friend of mine committed suicide (no, no one knows who they are), and I've been having ALOT of issues. Issues regarding family, friends, religion, and self.
My family has always been on my case. Ever since I was 14. They would yell at me for every little thing they could find. They still do. They used to complain about how I was never home when I was a skateboarder. I quit skateboarding for them. They now complain about me always being home. stare They REALLY piss me off. There's no way to please some people. stressed
As far as friends go, it pertains to here on gaia and real life. Here on gaia, I've had a couple of friends that were using me for my gold. Gold-diggers, if you will. stare They acted like they were such great friends and they buttered me up with compliments. I loosened up and let them in. They asked for items, favors, and gold. Me thinking they were good friends of mine, I accepted without hesitation. rolleyes Once they got all they wanted from me, they left me high and dry. This is why I don't donate anymore. stare
As far as real life friends goes, I've been having trouble with keeping them occupied. Since I USED to like talking on the phone, they still expect me to call them each day. I have so many friends that I never really call anymore. I feel bad that I don't call them, but I'm never really in the mood to talk on the phone to anyone. sweatdrop
As far as religion goes... I feel like I've slipped away from God lately. I've been trying to get back into the groove of things but I just can't get that feeling back. It was once a twice a week activity and now it's hard just to go to Youth Group anymore. gonk I feel bad because I LOVE going to church. I love my friends there and I love the fun I have there. I just feel like God has abandoned me lately.
Last but definitely not least, self. What I mean by self, is how I've been acting and how I've been treating myself. I've been treating myself poorly. I don't eat nearly as much as I should and I've attempted suicide a couple of times within one weeks time.
I've been doing much better now, lately. My life seems like it's getting back on track and I have a much better attitude on life. I've stopped cutting and attempting suicide, I've made amends with my friends and I'm trying my best to deal with my parents appropriately. sweatdrop I hope everything turns out alright and I get my life back together. If you've read this whole thing, thank you for your time and interest. I appreciate it. 3nodding
 Tadashiini · Mon May 08, 2006 @ 04:14am · 1 Comments |
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