The moment I think I am done, that I am over the fluttering in my stomach and the thrill your presence stirs in me, it comes crashing down around me. Why does this keep happening? Why can't what is in me just go away? I love my life. My husband and daughter are my world. And yet, in the back of my head, there you are. Whispering and taunting, reminding me of what I have changed just to have the life I do. What I have given up in order to get where I am. Do you want me to regret my family? To feel bad for choosing a life with someone who is here versus a dream that will never leave the fantasy world? I don't know what you want from me?!
*Sighs and runs a hand through her hair* In the end, I suppose, I am the one to blame. No matter how much time goes by without me talking to you, or thinking about you, the moment you come back my reaction is the same. Perhaps I am just fated to be tormented, to relive everything the moment you decide to stroll back in. Forever to be cursed with the ghost of you in my head and the echo of the past in my heart. Oh, what a life I live....
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The workings of a rather strange mind...
Within this journal, I have a tendency to ramble and I won't apologize for it. My thoughts, feelings, everything that I am exists within all of these words. If you don't like them, feel free to not read them. They aren't for you, they're for me.
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