We're going to be in High School soon and I'm really confused right now because it seems that everyone is pushing for me to do some sort of club. But I don't know what to do. I'm tired of people thinking I'm "Different" or "Wierd". It just seems that I can't get out of my shell. Sometimes I wish I could just be a little more "Normal", so i could make more friends. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my friends to DEATH!, but when my sister was talking to me she did make a point. I'm scared. I'm scared to come out and talk to people that aren't in "OUR GROUP". I'm scared to be dropped on my face again. I just wish it could be like the good old days where all of us were great friends. But I know that it's just memories now. I think that I'm just making a big deal out of it, but it's true. I'm afriad to loose friends. I already lost one this year. Now one moved and the other one is going to be moving shortly. When I talk to my sister about this I just want to go in my room, curl up in my bed, and cry. I don't want to loose anyone. I don't even know why I think that it's important to be "Normal". But who would except me. Who? I don't know. My friends do I know that. But I want to find some one that I know who will except me. The Normal and the Wierd. I feel like I'm trapped. Like there is nowhere to run. Trapped inbetween these feelings. Of despair and hatred. For myself and what I think I should be. I always think in my mind that "If I got other friends would my friends not like me anymore?" or "Would I change?" I dont know I'm just rambling right now........I'm done now. Byes sweatdrop
 Red Envelope · Fri Aug 18, 2006 @ 01:53am · 1 Comments |
