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Well, to make this entry short, I feel real bad. Not in the illness way, if you look at my profile, I`ll bet you kinda caught on that i`ll edit it to my mood. Right now i feel like i`m dying of a broken heart. But how is that possible? What makes your heart hurt so much? I`m so cluttered with emotion that I don`t know how to say anything. I`m hurt, I`m sad, I`m angry, I`m depressed. I`m a bit of everything.
What makes humans cry? Or hurt so much? I thought the heart was but an organ,
yet why does it squeeze everytime something happenes? So much so that you just want to kneel over, and die. So much so that everytime you think you healed your heart, just when you think you`re ready to move on, someone says something, or something reminds you of that thing and you break again. Then you start over again. What do you have to do to get rid of this feeling? Why do we even feel? Love is such an illusion to me. What is it anyways? A feeling you get with that special someone? Or is it just a physical need to be with someone? I thought about this for a long time. Wile in my state of brokenness. In a way, I still am broken. I`m still on the floor, trying to pick up where I left off before it happened. I`m trying to regain my posture that I once had before letting myself fall. I`m getting up, slower than Him, but i`m still getting up in time. I want to keep this moment close to me at all times. I want it to be something I could tell my kids and hopefully, if i don`t kill myself, my grandchildren. I don`t want to forget it. Right now, I`m so filled with these emotions He opened in me. So raw, they`re so new to me and with Him they came in a rush, without me knowing soon enough to stop them. I`m sorry I couldn`t tell you this last night, and I want to thank you for everything. It may have been short, but i`ll always hold it close to me. Live a good and happy life, and know I`ll be behind you at all times. I`m here for you if you ever need to talk. Sorry people, I didn`t mean for this to be so long, but it all just came in a rush. . .
 Truth-Or-Cliche · Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 08:13am · 1 Comments |
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