Well, its been about four months since my life went down to hell. but i think slowly im getting back on my feet. School is going great exept for that retarded government test we have to take, and i've got alot of new friends now, im even getting to be alot more sociable.
I gots a new birdie and Name him Kato, taken from the name Katsunari ( i think thats how he spells it) The name of my beloved Samurai. Its too bad he'll never even know my name...well i guess its for the best... i've seen first-hand that long-distance realtionships accross a country never really work out for the best. That, and also he'd probally not want to know the name of the creepy chick who always giggles like a retard and stares at him everytime he walks by.
but Kato is learning alot despite his childish behaviour. He learned to step up only 2 days after we got him. he's a good boy and he almost never bites. ( the only time he did was when i let Karina hold him xd )
Also, after a certain stranger broke my heart, i felt i would never love again ( dont we all?) but, now, i think thats all beggining to change. A past love of mine and i reunited a few months ago, and at first the relationship seemed purely pleutonic(sp?). Then, my feelings for her began to develop again and well... i think she's feeling the same thing. but im too much of a coward to just come forth and tell her whats going on. I'd planned to give her my first kiss on her birthday... bc i had planned to a long time ago and i felt, that she was the one i wouldn't regret giving it too. but as usual i chickened out again. We even had the whole cheesy " walking me home but stop in the middle of the streetlight too look up at the full moon' scene ( im not even joking that whole thing happened) and in my mind i kept saying this is it, you can do this, just say what you feel and dive in but somehow... that big feeling of inspiration never came. Lately when we've been hanging out, we'd just sit in her room, talk and watch anime. but we'd have to sit on the bed bc her room is just distorted like that. so by the end of the day we'd end up lying there cuddling under the blankets while watching anime and stuffs...
I think she feels the same way about me as i do about her, but theres no way of telling for shure...heh... we even plan to live together when we get a bit older... i dont know what to do... i keep waitong for that moment where i'll just cough it up and hand it over....but...i always chocke up in the last second...
ah well, whatever is to come of this feeling, i'll leave it up to destiny
untill then...
Kyomi Community Member 
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Community Member
I guessed i missed alot huh.
Well Tracey if you feel like that about someone, you cant be a chicken no more, cause if you dont do it now, you will regret it. So get all that courage that I know you have inside of you go up to her and just let it go. It might be hard for you to do that but if you dont and she is gone you will regret it in life.