 |
Trial and Errors |
:D SMILE! You're on candid Manda! |
 |
YourAverageAlien
Community Member
|
Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 @ 03:02am
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
Since you've been gone I can't breathe...
So there goes the festival concerto. It was the best. I'm a mega-band dork-o-rama. Clarinet player, naturally. We have the biggest mouths, and it's rumored that we give the best blowjobs... (I'm gonna need some opinions on that one...) I also play Piano, and I'm pretty good on that. I'm learning violin, too. I bought a beautiful violin on ebay for 40 bucks. It's got a baby blue case, too, and it is the awesomeness.
So, anyways.... as I was rambling... biggrin It was a great concert. The band did excellent on both of our songs. Even the part that rejects don't practice wen't over sans huge mistakes. I even got to see the best friend. (Oh great Farferalloie)... xD.
There were two downers though, tonight. Uno is the fact that we had to wear shower curtain-fabric dresses.. (they even look in the shape of shower curtains!). And dos is that I asked a girl I liked out. I got told by two friends that she had 'feelings' for me. I've liked her all along. They told me she was too shy to ask me out, however, and some little person got inside me mind and asked her out.
Knowing me, guess what she said?!?!?!
No, naturally. She said she wanted to go out with this kid 'J.D.' Hahaha. Doesn't everyone? He is like.. the hottest guy in the band. Long hair... beautiful eyes... *sigh* So, once again Amanda gets left behind, in the dust of all this teenage effing romance. Dear god... Just let me find someone I like that actually likes me back!
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
YourAverageAlien
Community Member
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 @ 07:45pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He was lookin' for a soul to steal
So, just woke up a little while ago. No school today due to Good Friday. I'm going over to my dads later on today, so I might not be on as much over the course of this weekend.
Last night I stayed up until 3 am, eyes drooping and all, to see what the donation letters would be. I spazzed out on poor little Lo Mein when I found out they were puppies and kitties. <3 I think it was fate that I, animal lover extraordinaire, first donated this month. biggrin I stocked up on letters last night, I bought 4 extra... Plus I sent out another $12.50 in the mail yesterday. Right now, however, I'm going to go and see how many KiKi Kitty's I can attach to my avatar.
I am the cat fairy, you know. heart wink
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 @ 07:33am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What is love?.. Baby don't hurt me.
I've liked this one person since... November now.. Everything was going great, too!.. I mean... Christmas presents... Kissy bears on Valentines day... almost too perfect. Then.. oh.. then "J" comes along... and "J" steals them from me.. from right under my claws... from right under the point where I thought they liked me back, and right from the point where I thought I had a chance with someone for once.
But, once again, I was wrong. Wrong as if the sky were to suddenly change to a violent shade of magenta. And I wonder, sometimes, if I hadn't gone so far as to let myself fall in love with them, if my heart wouldn't hurt so much. But it bleeds... almost like a river, flowing down to the ocean and floating into where the other heartbreaks lie.
I just shouldn't have gotten my hopes up in the first place, they always end up crashing down. Waves in the sea of blood that holds my shattered dreams, aspirations. But I guess the tide can't all be fault of mine. Just yesterday I was holding their hand, and running around school with them, clenched to my side, not wanting to let go, ever, ever, ever.
So, I must have misunderstood when they told me they loved me... I must have misunderstood a friend love from real love... But what I felt deep inside the river of blood was real. I'd asked them out before, way before Christmas, but they said that they'd hold off for then, and they promised me a yes in return on a later day. That yes is floating down on a raft, floating down my little river.
But, the one thing that just... makes me tick is that I walked around with them, after school today. I leaned on their shoulder, I held their hand... I gave them the biggest hug in the known universe... Whilst all the time they didn't tell me that they had "J" now... for a couple days. I had to find out about "J" by reading their live journal, because I obviously wasn't going to get told by them.
So, from now on, I've promised myself not to fall into love. Lust, maybe, but not love, until I can handle it. I'm building a dam in the middle of the river, and stopping it from hurting any more. I'm done with this, this stuff they call love. What is love?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
YourAverageAlien
Community Member
|
|
