bloody night

• Artist: egiptionhottie111
• Description: blood
• Date: 08/27/2008
• Tags:

bloody night

it was a long time ago not i was just walking doin my thing when i heard a gun shot i started to run as i heard more and more shots all i saw was blood blood and more blood then i heard i few more gun shots and then i had a shock of pearicin pain i was shot at a few times then i started to bleed bleed and bleed and i realized im 15 and im gonna die!! s**t!!!!!!!!!! i felt weeker and weeker and then splat all my blood was drained out.. gone!!!!

next thing i new i found my self pased out and i was dreanched when i went to see wat it was it was blood not just any blood my blood and my arms and legs were hurting me like like hell was it real am i dead am i dreaming i will never know will u??

Comments

[Pixel0523]

It had good story in it, but there are no stanza's or no rhythm, just keep working at it, dont listen to the people below.

[swisscheeseluvr123]

I'm not proud to say this, but you're just another one of those people that feels poetry is something to be taken lightly. Sorry, but as others have said, you killed poetry.

[Saveyourownlifefirst]

Learn to write well before you try to write poetry. I'm sure this means something to you, but not being able to spell and repeating yourself makes the reader feel like you aren't putting something into it and that you think they are dumb because you repeat yourself. It defeats the purpose of writing a truly good poem.

[LaTiNo LoPeZ]

U KILLED POETRY!!!!

[Acid Dipped Daisies]

Dude. I think poetry got killed too.

[Moonlight_Maiden123]

yea ur deader then dead. nice job, at least this about u killing someone -.-

[Wicker Chair]

i couldn't really understand the language...>.>