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His name is Logan
He makes people wanna snap
And everyone knows
He's a fat sack of crap

When it comes to brains
He's not very clever
Well you could probably say
He's the dumbest person ever

He can't read, can't spell
And can barely count to five
And he's often the center
Of somebody's jive

When he was born
His brain must have departed
Thats the reason everyone
Calls him retarded

Ever wonder why
He wears hats alot?
It's because he's hiding
A big bald spot

He loves to eat
And never wants to share
He'd rather be home
Straightening his hair

When people see him
They never wanna cheer
In fact they laugh
Because he failed freshman year

Don't ever try to get
To hard on his case
Because his best comeback
Is saying "Like your face"

Logan will do anything
To get a thrill
He almost killed himself twice
On the same stupid hill

When he's at the gym
He can lift a heavy load
But give him another steroid
And his heart will explode

When he tries to talk
He can't stay in check
And sometimes he sounds like
Some mindless redneck

Going out with Lauren
Was a sneaky trick
He's actually in love
With Jared Myrick

If it comes to church
He's not very reliable
I mean he likes it
But he can't read The Bible

When he eats icecream
He can eat fast with ease
Because he's always
Having a major brain freeze

Talking with him
Usually is a bore
His Youth Pastor
Even nicknamed him Eeyore

Even in football
He's as dumb as a wall
When there was a fumble
He just stared at the ball

There's only one like him
He's to big to miss
And thats the end
Of my Logan Holton dis