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Do you ever get the feeling that your life is totally screwed up beyond repair? It just gets really out of control and I never know what to do. But it's not even messed up right now so I'm not sure what I'm talking about. I just don't like the atmosphere right now. Everything sounds like "goodbye" these last few days. Like the quiet happiness right before a major accident. It seems like people are drifting away. Some of them are probably better forgotten but most of the people I know right now are people I want to remember. Maybe I'm just paranoid. But sometimes, it seems like everything will disappear at midnight and all that will remain is a yucky pumpkin.