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I wish I understood. I wish I knew what I had done wrong or what went wrong.

I am screaming inside and crying constantly. I am scared and shaking. I know this can't be permanent, I know you can't mean it really. I know you can't be gone forever.

Look at the pictures. Look at the joy we've had.

What happened?

I have journaled and thought. I have cried and screamed and gotten quiet. I have learned so much more in the past twenty four hours than I thought possible.

What am I to do without your undying support? What I am to do without you guiding me? Why?
Please God, WHY?

The anguish, the pain, the uncontrollable heartbreak and I can't understand it.

Do you really not love me? I can't believe it and you can't say it. I need you! WHY? WHY?? WHY???

Was it something I've done or haven't done? What made you come to this conclusion? Why can't you write or call or give me some sign you're still thinking about me?

Is it as painful for you as it is for me? Or are you relieved?

Do you no longer care? Or is your heart breaking too?

Do you reach for the phone half a dozen times, then pull back, knowing that if you can't try now, that it won't work in the end?

Do you remember the last time we tried to take a break? Do you remember how much closer we got?

I'm sorry! I've learned and learned. PLEASE come back now.

You aren't online, I can't call you until you show me you have had enough space. I don't want to intrude, yet you're covering all my thoughts. I can't think, breathe, eat, or sleep without you taking up 90% of all of it.

I can't watch a movie without missing you. I can't think of the future without dying a little inside.

It can't really be over? Can it? I can't believe that. We were so happy. We were perfect two days before this. What changed? What changed?

I need you so much. I need your support. I need to know what you're doing and thinking. I need you. Only you. I just need you. I need what you can give me and I'll be satisfied with that. No more pressure no more talking no more convincing.

Just please come back. Please contact me. Please, please, please...give me back that part of me that you took when you drove away.

Please. I'm broken inside. I'm aching. I'm slowly dying with each passing heart beat. I need you back to make me whole.

I need you. I love you. I can't stand this. Two people so in love should not be separated because of hardships. You do love me, don't you? I can see that you do. You always have, more than I have ever been able to show you. I need that back.

I'm an empty shell, trying to forget, but every day it gets harder and harder. What am I to do? Where am I to go? I love you, I love you, I love you.

I'm screaming, I'm drowning, I'm lost, I'm confused.
Why aren't you here holding me? Why aren't you taking the hurt away? Why? Why? WHY?

Give me back that night. Give me back our perfect nights, our perfect dates, our days together. Bring it back to me. Please.

Please, oh God, please, take this away. Make this some horribel nitemare. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to us. Not now. I love him too much. I can't do this. I can't go on.

I can. I must. He must come back. He has to come back. We can't end like this. We can't. Time will pass and he will come back because he does love me and true love doesn't end like this. Please.

Oh God, let me be right.