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Since I've come to Gaia, I've made a lot of friends. Girl Friends, Guy friends, Crazy friends, RP partners--you get the drift.
Online I like to be plesent and fun, seeing as how being an idiot is in my character, I bring it out and have fun RPing or whatever. Online people accept you for who you are most of the time, Smart or Stupid, Newbie or Old Pro. I'm still a n00b, but people are helping me. (P.S: Thank you Pereru for donating over 40,000 gold worth of avatar spiffiness. <3)
In real life, though, I don't make friends very easily. No, make that I make friends easily but then I lose them quickly because they find out I'm not who I make myself out to be.
When I first meet people, I never tell them I'm a yaoi fanboy. I don't tell them that I'm mildly obsessive-compulsive and still cry during Inuyasha and Digimon. So, why am I telling you?
Maybe because the people online are much more real to me than the people in the 'real' world. How do I know you're all not just a bunch of nerds, or rapists, or whatever? I don't. Yet I confide in you anyway.
That's because as much as I am afraid of people, I long to be one of them.
Sure, I've been stabbed in the back, used, and thrown out once I've become 'unfashionable,' but online when I lose touch, as real as it seems at first contact, it's not as sad as with people like my old 'friends' in the real world.
I recently discovered the fun in RP. (Role-playing.) I can be whoever I want to be because nobody on here is going to question whether or not I'm really that funny or polite, they just trust that I'm telling the truth, just like how I trust each and every one of you. Which, in some cases, maybe I shouldn't. But hey, I'm trusting.
I know it may be hard to trust in a person so fake as myself, someone so fake that I blocked a friend from the 'real world' on here so they wouldn't find out things about me I tell the online community but keep hidden from the 'real world.' And I understand why, because just as I am lying to all of you, I have been lied to, too.
I just hope you accept me for who and what I am, because no matter what you guys do, you are keeping me sane and non-emo (lol) even though that might seem a little pathetic coming from a computer geek who trusts total strangers more than his own parents and friends.
heart heart heart Forever and ever Kai Kanzaki (Glomps.)
 Angel Creature · Thu Jun 21, 2007 @ 12:10am · 2 Comments |
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